Amelie’s gran, you are an absolute treasure. Those are wonderful words. Thank you. I am one of those infrequent visitors you mention, however, I’m not sure it’s because I have achieved some equilibrium, or maybe it is, I’m just not sure that’s possible. Our lives are certainly ‘altered’ but I am still addicted to my husband. I always will be. Somehow though, we manage to carry on, don’t we? Perhaps it’s my obsession with David that allows me to carry on. Yesterday I had a lovely walk around a National Trust estate, the wind in my hair, taking in the beauty surrounding me. I watched in amazement and delight as two swans flew in and landed on the water, all the time chatting to and feeling the presence of my man. I imagined him holding my hand which saddened me for a brief moment but then those majestic swans appeared once more. I like to walk alone, just me and my thoughts, it’s valuable me time.
And now today you appeared in my inbox. Another delight. Not a bad weekend really considering the awful weather today. Once again, thank you Amelie’s gran. Sending you love and best wishes for a peaceful Christmas xx
oh my- Smoke Jumper - I want this to be true, so much…
Extraordinary words, aren’t they Heather? I like that you’ve brought it to the fore again as there will be many who won’t have read it.
’ Be still, Close your eyes, Breathe. ’
How many times have we needed to do that? It works. It helps. 
Sometimes…
Sometimes it hurts so bad
Sometimes it feels a little easier
Sometimes it’s almost unbearable
Sometimes it’s just bearable
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I smile
Sometimes I feel sad
Sometimes I sing
Sometimes I’m angry
Sometimes I dance
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I laugh
Sometimes I panic
Sometimes I’m calm
Sometimes I’m in darkness
Sometimes I see some light
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I’m positive
Sometimes I sink
Sometimes I swim
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes…
But always, always I miss him…
This a beautiful thread and one where comfort can be found regardless of where you are in your life after loss. I hope I can contribute, might be musical lyrics as that’s my passion 
Sending love and my thanks to you all, by sharing your thoughts, giving support, you help so many 
Hello Everyone-May I share this I found on line, and it touched me deeply;
Tell me,
if a person falls apart
alone in the dark,
does it make a sound?
And if it does make a sound,
is it as loud and devastating
as a decaying broken heart
when it is finally found?
Or is the sound
a soft strangulation hidden
that we miss all the time, behind words like “I am fine?”
Nitkita Gill
Blessed New Year to all. Wishing you hope & strength in 2020.
Thank you for caring
Xxx Sister2
God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.
This verse was posted on another thread by Diverliz. I’ve taken the liberty and posted it on here also because I very much like to reread this thread with its many beautiful and poignant words.
Break Break Break by Alfred Lord Tennyson
On thy cold gray stones, O sea! And I would that my tongue could utter The thoughts that arise in me.
O, well for the fisherman’s boy, That he shouts with his sister at play! O, well for the sailor lad, That he sings in his boat on the bay! And the stately ships go on To their haven under the hill;
But O for the touch of a vanished hand,
And the sound of a voice that is still! Break, break, break, At the foot of thy crags, O sea!
But the tender grace of a day that is dead Will never come back to me
This was my mum’s favourite poem.
Thank you all. The words you posted are so touching. Allow me to share another;
“I wish you to know that you have been the last dream of my soul”
-Charles Dickens-
This was posted by our lovely Kate in December 2018. I’ve been for a look through the old posts and found what I was looking for. I was married 41 years ago today but my beautiful husband slipped away from me in October 2017…this is to him and everyone who just wants to be beside the one they love and miss, right now, x
If I Could Be Where You Are
By Enya
Where are you this moment?
Only in my dreams.
You’re missing, but you’re always
A heartbeat from me.
I’m lost now without you,
I don’t know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,
But time keeps us apart.
Is there a way I can find you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a road I could follow
To bring you back home?
Winter lies before me
Now you’re so far away.
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay.
If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home
Is there a way I can find you
Is there a sign I should know
Is there a road I can follow
To bring you back home to me?
It’s beautiful, isn’t it Rainbow? And Enya sings like an angel. How I wish I could wish you a happy anniversary but the words you have chosen are perfect. Sending love to you on this special day
Thank you Kate, I wished that you would know that I had found comfort again, in finding these words. Such sorrow and wishing upon the stars tonight.
Sweet Rainbow 
ohhh- that is beautiful…I just listened to it being sung as well…thank you …
It’s what we wish for, all day, every day and night too, to be right there beside them. Part of me is with my beautiful husband…that’s why I hurt still…peace be with you Heather Diane, kindest wishes, x
Yorkshire lad
Having just lost my mum i who i was a carer to i couldnt stand the house any longer and drove to a place id always liked - yorkshire. I love the moors and actually stood at ilkley moor in the blasting wind. It was the weeks of storms. I drove back to Scotland through floods and a snowstorm at lockerbie. I was sobbing the whole time. Being a reader i bought some books at a skipton bookshop and am now trying to read a little. I wish you peace and wherever you find it is goodx
I saw this and thought I’d share. It’s very simple, but soothing.
If the mountain seems too big today, then climb a hill instead.
If the morning brings you sadness, it’s okay to stay in bed.
If the day ahead weighs heavy, and your plans feel like a curse,
There’s no shame in rearranging. Don’t make yourself feel worse.
If a shower stings like needles, and a bath feels like you’ll drown,
If you haven’t washed your hair in days, don’t throw away your crown.
A day is not a lifetime,
A rest is not defeat,
Don’t think of it as failure, just a quiet kind retreat.
It’s okay to take a moment from an anxious, fractured mind.
The world will not stop turning, while you get realigned.
The mountain will still be there, when you want to try again.
You can climb it in your own time.
Just love yourself til then. Laura-Ding Edwards
Grief by Gwen Flowers
I had my own notions of grief.
I thought it was a sad time
That followed the death
of someone you love
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
There is not pushing through,
But rather, there is absorption, acceptance.
Grief is not something you complete,
But rather endure.
Grief is not a task to finish and move on,
But an element of yourself,
An alteration of your being,
A new way of seeing,
A new definition of self.
Some Days
They tell me life’s a journey
That will take me many years
Some days are filled with laughter
And some days are filled with tears
Some days I think my heart will break
That I can’t persevere
Some days I have to don a mask
And hide 'neath it’s veneer
Some days I turn and look for you
With thoughts I’d like to share
Some days I just can’t understand
The reason you’re not there
Some days the sadness leaves me
And my smile will reappear
Some days I close my eyes because
Your memory is so clear
Some days I struggle to go on
Just wishing you were near
Most days I spend in gratitude
That you were ever here