Thank you to everyone who contributed to this thread. I have spent the afternoon reading the whole thread (should have been doing probate and inheritance tax forms!) and have found some amazing words. I intend to make a book with lots of these in them as so many ring true to what I am feeling after losing my wonderful Richard so suddenly.
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Try again Karen. Itās called The Laughing Heart.
Thank you. I like the lines āYou canāt beat death but you can beat death in life.ā
For me that sums up what I have to do for the sake of those around me, especially my daughters.
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Why are we given such great love,
With the strength to knock us flat?
There must be a reason we find that one,
We canāt imagine living without.
Many lose out and accept second best
As they travel lifeās journey without
Ever finding the one to make their heart sing
And about whom they havenāt a doubt.
I thought I was lucky to find my soul mate
Then suddenly fate took that turn,
My heart was ripped out,
My reason to live
Had vanished to never return.
Was it worth having that one true love,
When the price is such harrowing pain?
āAbsolutelyā my soul cries out very loud,
Iād love him again and again.
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As five years of grieving for my beautiful husband creep towards me day by dayā¦
My grief was a heavy stone,
Rough and sharp.
Grasping to pick it up
My hands were cut.
Afraid to let go,
I carried it.
While I had my grief,
You were not lost.
The rain of my tears
Smoothed it.
The wind of my rage
Weathered it,
Making it round and small.
The cuts in my hands have healed.
Now in my palm it rests,
Sometimes almost beautiful,
Sometimes almost you.
āThe Heavy Stoneā by Averil Stedeford
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Sorry to read such sad news about Jean2ā¦.I found the poem Jean wrote for her beloved husband, after they were parted for this short while, now together once more 
x
BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME.
I am sad and my heart is breaking but I know I am a better and stronger person, because you loved me.
I promise to keep your memory alive until the day I die, because you loved me.
I have become more compassionate to others and feel their pain, because you loved me.
You allowed me to be who I am and never criticised me, because you loved me.
You taught me so much about life and how to just ābeā, because you loved me.
You taught me to appreciate nature in all its beauty, because you loved me.
You accepted everything I did for you and you always thought I knew best, because you loved me.
You will give me the strength to carry on living my best life until the end of my days, because you loved me.
One day you will come and meet me when we can be together again, because you loved me.
You taught me all there is to know about love in this world, because you loved me.
I love you too my lovely Mike. You will always be by hero and my inspiration, because I love you. xxxxxxxx
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Thatās so sweet and thoughtful dear Rainbow. Thank you for reminding us of Jeanās poem. xx
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When I go,
donāt learn to live without me,
just learn to live with my love,
in a different way.
And if you need to see me,
close your eyes,
or look in your shadow,
when the sun shines,
Iām there.
Sit with me in the quiet and you will know,
that I did not leave.
There is no leaving when a soul is blended with another.
When I go,
donāt learn to live without me,
just learn to look for me in the moments.
I will be there.
By Donna Ashworth
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A Prayer For Myself
May I always see the light ahead when the road I walk is dark.
May I always hear, even in times of sorrow, the gentle singing of the lark.
When Life is hard, may disappointment never turn my heart to stone,
May I always remember when the shadows fall, I do not walk alone.
I came across the above poem by chance and the words resonated with me. I like to think that I never walk alone, that my man is with me always. Of course, it may be read with a religious connotation also.
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This is a poem which I put on the memorial site for my wonderful Keef after he died in February this year. It was written after World War 1 by a poet whoād lost so many:
PERHAPSā¦
Perhaps some day the sun will shine again,
And I shall see that still the skies are blue,
And feel once more I do not live in vain,
Although bereft of You.
Perhaps the golden meadows at my feet
Will make the sunny hours of Spring seem gay,
And I shall find the white May blossoms sweet,
Though You have passed away.
Perhaps the summer woods will shimmer bright,
And crimson roses once again be fair,
And autumn harvest fields a rich delight,
Although You are not there.
Perhaps some day I shall not shrink in pain
To see the passing of the dying year,
And listen to the Christmas songs again,
Although You cannot hear.
But, though kind Time may many joys renew,
There is one greatest joy I shall not know again,
because my heart for loss of You
Was broken, long ago.
(This was dedicate to the poetās fiance who died of wounds in France 23rd December 1915 and the poetās name is Vera Brittain)
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On the fifth anniversary of my beloved younger Sisterās passing, I share this poem (author unknown)
āWhat is lovely never dies
but passes into another loveliness
Stardust or Sea Foam
Flower or Winged Air.ā
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Hello everyone. Iām absent more often than Iām here these days. Iāve been reading a poetry book written by Donna Ashworth which made me think of you all and a need to share a few poems with you. Poetry has played a big part in my grieving and itās brought me enormous comfort. I hope it can do the same for you.
The french donāt say, āI miss youā, they sayā¦
Tu me manquesā¦āYou are missing from meā.
You are. Missing.
I feel your absence as though it were a
vital part of my body thatās gone.
A part of my body that I need very much
but for some reason, I continue to live on.
You are a vital part of my soul,
so I suppose that makes perfect sense.
**emphasised textThey say that grief is simply the love you felt
for that person, roaring around in pain,
inside your body,
with nowhere to go.
I have so much of that for you.
I have so much of it I could open the windows
and let that roar encompass the world.
Tu me manquesā¦
You, are missing from me.emphasised text
Donna Ashworth
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You donāt move on after loss, but you must move with.
You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in,
for she lives with you now.
Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort.
She is not the monster you first thought her to be.
She is love.
And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully.
If you let her.
And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came,
remember who she represents.
Remember.
Grief came to you my friend because love came first.
Love came first.
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When I go,
donāt learn to live without me,
just learn to live with my love,
in a different way.
And if you need to see me,
close your eyes,
or look in your shadow,
when the sun shines,
Iām there.
Sit with me in the quiet and you will know,
that I did not leave.
There is no leaving when a soul is blended with another.
When I go,
donāt learn to live without me,
just learn to look for me in the moments.
I will be there.
By Donna Ashworth
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Sometimes
I find myself sitting at the table
Elbows resting either side of my plate
Hands clasped together
Just like you
Sometimes
I find myself lying on the floor
Feet crossed eyes staring at the ceiling
To help my aching back
Just like you
Sometimes
I find myself talking to my son
Loud stern and harsh and disembodied
But scolding myself
Just like you
Sometimes
I find myself blinded by myself
Not listening yeilding compromising
Lost in my own pride
Just like you
Sometimes
I get lost in the work Iām doing
Shut off from the outside world wrapped up
Try to prove myself
Just like you
Sometimes
I speak the softest words in kindness
Tell the funniest jokes make them laugh
Just like you
Sometimes
I sit and stare at who I became
And see you staring right back at me
And I realise
I am just like you
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I thought I saw your face today,
In a crowd of passers by
I blinked and you were gone again,
In the twinkling of an eye.
I thought I heard your voice again,
Carried through the air
I turned to look, to seek you out,
But saw that you werenāt there.
I thought I caught your scent today,
Caught up on a draft
Familiar and warm and safe,
A memory that lasts.
I feel your presence close to me
In all I say and do
Laughing, crying, smiling, sighing,
But always missing you.
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Thank you @dcorbishley , your poem is thought provoking. I imagined our son saying those words. Every day he strives to be like his dad, my husband. He beams when I say simple words such as, āLike father, like son.ā I think Iām guilty of being lost in my own loss that I forget about his. 
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Again, thank you for sharing. 
Sometimes
I find myself sitting at the table
Elbows resting either side of my plate
Hands clasped together
Just like you
Sometimes
I find myself lying on the floor
Feet crossed eyes staring at the ceiling
To help my aching back
Just like you
Sometimes
I find myself talking to my son
Loud stern and harsh and disembodied
But scolding myself
Just like you
Sometimes
I find myself blinded by myself
Neither listening nor compromising
Lost in my own pride
Just like you
Sometimes
I get lost in the work Iām doing
Shut off from the outside world wrapped up
Try to prove myself
Just like you
Sometimes
I speak the softest words in kindness
Tell the funniest jokes make them laugh
Just like you
Sometimes
I sit and stare at who I became
And see you staring right back at me
And I realise
I am just like you
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When somebody else tries to tell you how you should grieve
smile and forgive them through your watering eyes and then imagine how lonely it must be to be the person who audits the tears of other people
the well-intended will tell you how long you should miss your beloved
but you take your time
grief is a hedge maze and being lost inside of it is more than okay
donāt race through your heartache
because you might just miss a miracle or two in the teardrops rolling down your face
donāt grieve quickly just to make somebody else feel better
if you need to, let your grief become a coral reef
let the algae of your hurt slowly form over the years into the softest violet hue of heaven
it can take two lifetimes to recover
when our beloved becomes an empty chair
itās okay
take as much time as you need
your healing is your healing
and the scars of absence will itch longer than you can imagine
but that is because you risked to love so deeply
and that is far better than the alternative
I am proud of you and the courage it takes for you to grieve so fearlessly
donāt listen to those who want you to go back to normal
normal will never exist again for those of us who have lost a part of our heart
if the moon broke in half would it feel normal?
to hell with normal
normal was their scent on your collar normal was their voice resting in your ear normal was their touch on your skin
you have a new normal
itās looking at the shape of clouds for messages from the great beyond that your beloved is fine
you have a new normal
itās building a cabin in the woods of your memory where you and your beloved can meet for lunch
you have a new normal
itās crying and laughing at the same time whenever their favorite song plays on the radio
grief isnāt the enemy of life
numbness is
donāt become numb to your suffering
welcome it in and let it wrap you up like a blanket
whenever it shows up at your door
itās okay
I swear
itās okay
your beloved misses you just as much as you miss them
and someday you two will get all tangled up together again
someday you two will push each other on a swing again under a shower of falling blooms
and someday you two will ride comets together on the edge of everything
and someday you two will giggle at all of the people who tried to tell you
how to grieve
~ john roedel
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