Christina Rossetti (1830-1894) wrote several poems about grieving and loss which, even in happier, live-forever times could bring a tear to my eye.
Imagine what they do now.
Here’s, “Remember” which I am copying out from Eileen’s battered old “Golden Treasury” which was a companion to her for longer than I was.
“Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of the future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.“
She does…I’ve just watched it on YouTube and it is so beautiful. Music digs deep into the soul. I belong to a folk group online…there is no shortage of sad songs but I love them. Xxx
I’ve heard that crying is good when confronting grief. Like bleeding a radiator. Just wondering how big can a radiator be!
Personally I cannot NOT cry. Just can’t do it. I think it’s probably better to let go in this way although I do find it a bit embarrassing when strangers are confronted by me in bits! Just don’t know how people can control this emotion. All suggestions welcome! Xx
You’re absolutely right Annette. Sometimes you just can’t stop the tears from falling. One time I was in a town centre shop and the assistant just happened to mention my necklace - I had a complete melt down in the middle of the shop, I was literally blubbing and couldn’t stop. The assistant was mortified and apologising constantly. I left the shop and came straight home. It had been a bit ambitious going into town anyway. Xx
Hi everyone I have some of these words beautiful and of course tears have come again.
A song that we played at John’s funeral and I love the words because they say exactly how I feel.
Thank you for the days
Those endless days,those sacred days you gave me
I’m thinking of the days
I won’t forget a single day,believe me
I bless the light
I bless the light that lights on you, believe me
And though you’re gone
You’re with me every single day, believe me
Days I’ll remember all my life
Days when you can’t see wrong from right
You took my life
But then I knew that very soon you’d leave me
But it’s alright
Now I’m not frightened of this world believe me
I wish today could be tomorrow
The night is dark
It just brings sorrow, let it wait
Thank you for the days
Those endless days, those sacred you gave me
I’m thinking of the days
I won’t forget a single day believe me
We played the Kinks because it was of our era but there are lots of versions. Funny as it may sound ,we didn’t go for the Ray Davis and choir because it sounded too funeral like.
It’s not exactly a time in life when Being In Control is the norm! It does take much to tweak the heartstrings.
I was telling someone about this site and it struck me how it might seem odd to someone who isn’t grieving that support and comfort can be found here from other grieving people. But it is so true…thank you all.
It also strikes me that as with childbirth, the situation of grieving, is common to millions, and yet when it strikes you it is so personal, so devastating. Your life as was no longer is. That is a steep mountain to face.
So …on we go, listening to sad songs, reading heartfelt poetry, looking at photos from the past, trying to I checked forward an hour at a time and being helped by strangers and friends and family to some and differing degrees.
And tonight we see in another year. May it see each of us stronger and more content than now…cheers all. Xx
I’m loving reading these posts, and must go after Enya singing Rossetti
We played this song at my Ken’s funeral - it is just so perfect for a man who worked hard all his life and was just looking forward to retirement:
Go Wherever You Wanna Go
Patty Griffin
You can go wherever you wanna go
Go wherever you wanna go
Fly up to the moon and say hello now
You can go wherever you wanna go
You don’t ever have to go to war no more
Never have to go to war no more
Wear them boots and swim that icy shore now
You don’t ever have to go to war no more
You can get up on some sunny day and run
Run a hundred miles just for fun now
Heartaches and yesterdays don’t weigh a ton now
You can get up on some sunny day and run
You don’t ever have to pay the bills no more
Break a sweat or walk a worried floor now
Working like a dog ain’t what you’re for now
You don’t ever have to pay the bills no more
You can go wherever you wanna go
You can go wherever you wanna go
Go to where the time’s wound all the way down
Put a penny on the track and wait for train sounds
Tell your mama you’re coming back before the sun’s down
You can go wherever you wanna go
And we played this with Ken’s slideshow - if you love this song, you’ll know how emotively Jim Croce sang Time in a Bottle:
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
'Til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I’d save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
'Til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I’d save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with
Thanks. We walked into the crematorium to Barbra Streisand singing Evergreen. It was the song we danced to on our wedding day. John hated dancing so although he loved the lyrics he would have been sitting firmly down and refusing to stand in case I asked him to dance. On a lighter note John chose the last song that we played and he thought it was a funny irreverent choice. It was Status Quo singing The Party Ain’t Over Yet. I must say I am glad that we did as he asked but I haven’t come to appreciate the sentiment yet.
Well that’s Christmas done and now New Year’s here,
Oh, how I hate this time of year.
I just want to spend it with the man I love,
The one looking down from up above.
Damn it David, it’s just not fair,
We were as one, we came as a pair.
So many questions, what it’s, buts and whys,
The only certainty is ‘Lover never dies’.
