Hi Kate. I also find it impossible to know when the tears and emotion are going to hit…can be absolutely anywhere anytime even after several days without tears. Can be a real party stopper!
All part of this Grief process…all necessary I do think to really go through all this gut-wrenching stuff in order to reconcile all the life-changing that’s happened. Not a quick fix but a slow gentle meander through the desert of loneliness and heartache. But each of us is stronger than we think…be kind to yourself. Keep reading here and posting too
Annette xx
Hello Annette, Kate and everyone else!
Anything that soothes our souls is of immense value…poetry and music are such great gifts and enormous suport to all of us…as this thread proves…even if they make our tears fall!
Some of the earliest poetry are the Psalms and these too can bring comfort to many…here are a few lines from Psalms 56
You keep track of all my sorrows
(Oops pushed button too soon!)
You keep track of all my sorrows
You have collected all my tears in your bottle
You have recorded each one in your book.
Tears are a wonderful release even if they come when not welcome…they are part of what makes us human…as is our love of poetry and music!
Hoping this Sunday is bringing healing and comfort to all x
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‘And if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear’…
Thank you Unhappy 127. Xx
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Hi All
If you are struggling like me, i am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel…
"You touched my life
And turned my heart around.
It seems when I found you
It was me I really found.
You opened my eyes
And now my soul can see
Our moments may be over,
Of just you here with me.
Love lives on beyond Goodbye
The truth of us will never die
Our spirits will shining after we’ve gone
And so our love lives on"
"Life is ours in vain
Lacking love, which never
Counts the loss or gain.
But remember, ever
Love is linked with pain.
Light and sister shade
Shade each mortal morrow
Seek not to evade
Love’s companion Sorrow,
And be not dismayed.
Grief is not in vain
Its for ours completeness.
If the fates ordain
Love to bring life’s sweetness,
Welcome too it’s pain."
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Our life together was a musical tapestry from day one, aged 16 &19, a house filled with music was our home and it remains so. In his last weeks in hospital we set up a speaker and played all our favourite songs. My husband was very clear about the song he wanted at his funeral, ‘Days’ by the Kinks. His day was filled with music as was his life. At first, so hard to listen in the weeks after his death, but I let it in, music fills my home, I have been to many concerts with friends and own my own. Our tapestry, now in its 48th year, continues. It’s now my safety valve, stirs memories, tears, sometimes sobs, but I know he is by my side and proud.
Hi SanW
Brilliant song thank you for reminding me.
Take Care
Chris x
I too find music can stir a range of feelings. We also played Days by the Kinks at my Johns funeral, I love the words as they say quite simply all that I wanted to say to John. It still amuses me that we didn’t have the Ray Davies with quire version because it sounded too funereal.
John made it absolutely clear that his song choice was to be played as we left the crematorium. That song was The Party Ain’t Over Yet by Status Quo. I haven’t quite come to appreciate that sentiment yet but he loved the Quo and we saw them several times in concert.
Play my music load and sing like no ones listening which there isn’t now but it helps and brings the memories flooding in.
Keep singing and dancing
Susan
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Hello Susan and Sandra. I’ve just listened to the Ray Davies with choir version of Days. Never heard of it before. It’s absolutely brilliant and of course the words fit perfectly. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Sending love to see you through the day. Xx
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We had the Ray Davies with Mumford and sons version at my husbands funeral, it seems to be a popular choice for many on this site x
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Whoops spelling, sorry. Choir not quire.
Me too spelling error should be grief not drive in last few lines. Xx
Have just spent the last hour re-reading this thread and,as ever, finding such comfort in it. Here is another of my personal favourites…this thread is too precious to get lost!
If Tomorrow starts Without Me…
If tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not here to see,
If the sun should rise you find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you
And each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand.
He said my place was ready, in heaven far above
And that I’d have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned and walked away a tear fell from my eye.
For all my life I’d always thought, I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much left yet to do.
It seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays the good ones and the bad.
I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I’d say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
When I thought of worldly things I might miss come tomorrow
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.
When I walked through heavens gates I felt so much at home.
God looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne
He said, “This is eternity and all I’ve promised you”
Today your life on earth has passed but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last
And since each day is the same there’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn’t do.
You have been forgiven and now at last you’re free.
So won’t you come and take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts with out me don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me, I’m right here in your heart.
Author: David Romano
Take care x
PS Has anyone heard from Edwin? Hope he is OK;
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Lovely poem, thank you Amelie’sgran. I agree, we must keep resurrecting this thread.
Edwin hasn’t posted for months. I miss him. His posts could often make me smile. I hope he’s doing ok. Xx
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Hi Amelie’s Gran
Thank you for posting this beautiful and so touching poem. I have often wondered if my husband can see/understand what’s going on with those he’s left behind and know how much he is loved and missed. No easy answer so far.
I too have missed Edwins posts…hope all’s well with him.
Have a good week everyone xx
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Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other,
It is fed with the necessity of seeing each other,
It is concluded with the impossibility of separation.
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Dear Amelie’sgran. Thank your for posting this moving poem.
thank you
Take Care De xx
Alan all of our lives we had each others heart
We spent all our time together, rarely apart
I wish I could once more just hold your hand and give you a kiss
Talk to you all through the night, these things I miss
I know sometimes in the end you were sometimes in pain
The medicine you were given was of no gain
I try to remember the good times we walked hand in hand
In the woods, in London and on the beach in the sand
As I saw you pass silently and peacefully in your sleep
I vowed in my heart your love and these memories I’d keep
Now as I struggle to keep the tears from falling
I know I won’t be afraid as I hear you to me calling
For now places we went and people we knew I cannot face
I think I will have to deal with these at a slower pace
I lost my lovely husband four weeks ago today and miss him every second of every day. It’s not very good but I wrote it a few weeks ago about how I feel
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Dear Yemmy…that’s a beautiful poem.
I am so sorry that you have lost your husband but as the days pass I am sure you will find that his presence will be with you forever…keep writing and posting because it does help. Love and blessings x
Hi Yemmy. Thank you for posting your poem. Thinking of you and sending you best wishes and strength. Keep reading and posting…it does help and every bit of support is a positive at a difficult time.
Annette x