Hi All.
Gosh Pen, it’s so hard your brother didn’t help you and you are certainly not alone on here.
Since my post, things got so difficult for me caring for my mum and I too ended up having my own health suffering and ended up in hospital in the middle of it all as the stress played havoc with my digestion. I was so ill.
Anyway, to cut a long and very painful story short, my mum was in and out of clear thinking as she had brain cancer and one day we both made the decision we couldn’t cope at home any more. Watching her being taken in an ambulance to the home where she would die was the most awful thing ever. She spent 3 months in a home and died with me by her side.
She too was scared. It was far from how death appears on TV. It was awful. Painful and awful. I feel guilt about her not being at home too now but when it got to the point I could no longer get up off the floor one night sobbing, I knew I had done too much.
My mum wrote me a letter which said how much she loved me and thst I always tried my best and it sounds like you did exactly the same. Even if we did let our mum’s down in some way, they were our mum’s and loved us for what we were.
I’ve been missing my mum greatly so it is nice in a selfish way to know I am not alone in my grief.
Take care of yourself and I am sure your mum wouldn’t want you to feel guilty.
Ann xx