Helpful reading....

Losing a partner
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I’ve been reading a few articles recently and thought they might be worth sharing:

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Thank you @Crazy_Kate, an interesting read. We can all definitely relate to ‘The infinite sorrow of grieving a partner’.
The sadness waking up, the sadness pops up throughout the day and sadness going to bed.

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Thankyou fir sharing Kate .

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@Crazy_Kate I have read these but read them again after you posted them. The first article I found very poignant. It sums up the way I feel and probably a lot more of us on this site. Thank you so much.X

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Thank you these articles resonate with me as does Megan Devine’s book It’s OK that you’re Not Ok. Xx

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Thank you for sharing these. They have been really insightful.

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Hi All,

I’m pleased you’ve managed to get something from the articles. I particularly appreciate that the author of the articles is indeed a widow herself so has a real understanding.

Sadness is indeed ‘non-negotiable’. I think Sophie Dembling is right when she says that our loved ones would want us to be sad. How can we not be? After five and a half years, I can laugh and sing but there are moments still when that sadness overwhelms me.

@Shirleymc I have read so many books on grief and Megan Devine’s book was well worth reading.

xx

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I think I will give that book a try.

I’m only 6 weeks in, I having support from the hospice while I wait for counselling. I have been in such a mess not eating, sleeping, not wanting to go out. I kept telling people it’s just because I’m so sad but they all wanted me to go to the GP so I did and he said exactly the same thing that it’s sadness and no pills will take that away unless I’m feeling depressed.
He did give me sleeping pills but not sure about taking them at the moment.

I don’t really know what people expect from me my husband was ill for 15 months he died in my arms do they think after 6 weeks I won’t be so distraught?
I know I’m only at the early stages and it’s going to be hard for a long time.

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Hi @Gem2 ,

I am so sorry for your loss. It’s good that you are getting some support from the hospice.

Reading has helped me a lot. It helps to put into words how we’re feeling and also that those same feelings are experienced by others in a similar position. It can be strangely comforting, knowing we are not alone. Another book maybe worth a read is The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. A good children’s book is Waterbugs and Dragonflies which can help to explain death to children.

Your GP sounds a wise man. He’s right, no pills can take away our sadness. Even when we pick up our lives and find a way of living this new life, the sadness remains. But that’s ok because I think of my sadness as my husband so he’s with me all the time.

I hope you and your girls can find comfort in each other.
Sending you all love, strength and understanding. xx

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Continuing with the reading theme, the link below was a helpful thread in the earlier days of my grief: