I feel as though I've died.

Hello again Lonely, what a lovely reply, I would have replied earlier had I seen it but I have only just noticed it. You have done so much to keep your story alive and it’s absolutely wonderful. It must have been a labour of love and yet bittersweet to have kept your lovely home to beautiful and homely. Dennis always thought I had too many plants and do you know I wish now that I hadn’t as I feel with the amount of care I spent on them I could have lavished this time on my Husband. Ironic thing is now I have had to leave the home and live away many of the plants have died off - maybe that’s Dennis getting his own back! I think I had started a post asking if you still had your GSD. I read above you do. What a brilliant companion a GSD is. We have one, well my family do - Dennis wouldn’t have been keen and although they are very demanding I’m sure if they could have a conversation with you they would. Thanks again for your lovely reply. I’m wishing you well.

Hello Corrine - Thankyou for your lovely reply. I’m just about to lose power so can’t write a full reply now - but I will be back later to do so. Bye for now.

Hello again Corinne
Just to add I do understand about the decision making, even the unimportant stuff. I can’t even think about moving anything, or getting rid of things but like Sheila says it is very upsetting coming across things with tags still on - but then if we ever thought we could get through the task unscathed we’d be fooling ourselves wouldn’t we. Take care.

I lost my husband in July 2017. Instead of getting better-it’s 10 times worse as the weeks go by! I know exactly what you are saying. I feel same way. I just don’t want to get up in the morning. Never in million years did I realise the absolute emptiness I would feel & the negative attitude I have to everything around me! On the outside I look like I am coping fine…on the inside I am SCREAMING!! It hurts so much. I lost my husband to cancer. I nursed him for Some time so he could be at peace st home. It was hard & now all I think about is what I didn’t do. Sorry for your loss too

I lost my husband last June after 66 years of marriage to him. My feelings are exactly the same as yours, Patton, and at the moment I can’t visualise anything changing. The effort to get out of bed is awful, and all I want is to curl up under the covers and stay there. I make the effort, otherwise I believe that giving in would be a step backwards. I wish someone could come up with the answer to the dreadful loneliness after being with someone for a lifetime. Family support has dwindled now, I live in sheltered accommodation where I hardly ever see anyone, and can’t even have a cat for company. My plan is to move to somewhere where pets are allowed but at the moment I don’t have the energy to cope with the hassle of moving. People tell me that it is still early days but why am I, like you, feeling ten times worse than at the beginning? Warm regards, Pattoa, and I hope that you and I, and everyone else who is going through this, will eventually find peace. Eileen xx

I lost my husband last June after 66 years of marriage to him. My feelings are exactly the same as yours, Patton, and at the moment I can’t visualise anything changing. The effort to get out of bed is awful, and all I want is to curl up under the covers and stay there. I make the effort, otherwise I believe that giving in would be a step backwards. I wish someone could come up with the answer to the dreadful loneliness after being with someone for a lifetime. Family support has dwindled now, I live in sheltered accommodation where I hardly ever see anyone, and can’t even have a cat for company. My plan is to move to somewhere where pets are allowed but at the moment I don’t have the energy to cope with the hassle of moving. People tell me that it is still early days but why am I, like you, feeling ten times worse than at the beginning? Warm regards, Pattoa, and I hope that you and I, and everyone else who is going through this, will eventually find peace. Eileen xx

Sorry, Momick, I seem to have made a mess of this posting. I am sure you will understand but I wish there was an edit feature so that we could amend our mistakes after we have posted. Warm regards. Eileen

Hi Mornick,
I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I can only talk about my situation and hope it helps you. I have just been through the first anniversary of my husband’s death. After roughly 12 months I was feeling better and there were times when I actually felt quite ok but I still have to keep busy and I would recommend this to you. Even if you don’t feel interested in anything find something to distract you. If you stay in the house you will have too much time for negative thoughts. Guilt and regrets are not useful. I know!!! I am having counselling and this is a lifeline for me. I did it through my GP and may help if you are really desperate and want to go down that path.

I caught a virus a week ago and spent the whole week on my own in the house. I couldn’t go out and I couldn’t ask people round as it was definitely catching. All this has set me back a lot as all I could do was lie down and watch TV. I am now having to pick myself up again and try to get busy. Being with people is a good solution for me and you should give it a try. Eventually the future may look better. Good luck and hang on in there with me! Love Pattoa.

Thank you for replying. So sorry to hear you were ill. If it was the flu I u derstand as myself & daughter (lives 60 miles away) both had it recently. I had jab but my daughter & grandson were very poorly. The snow blocked me in on s visit do fortunately I was there to help with her 2 boys. One a toddler. Hope u getting there again. I live in very rural area. Too rural. My friends live few miles away. That’s why M mi big. There r events going on around me but as yet, I am not interested. I have sever arthritis which plays havoc with my hands. So restricted in some ways. I do battle in tho. I like st my son 3 years ago. You don’t expect a child to go before you! I will get there mut my oomph has disappeared. Not all griefs fault. Thank you so much for your reply. Good luck regaining your confidence. God bless. Mo xx

What a lovely letter ‘ lonely’ (I nearly put that as my ID too) every word feels like I wrote it. We were joined st hip & happy just be together whether it was sitting on couch snoozing, or out with the dog. I have friends but they live few miles away. They have their partners still. Nobody knows this pain unless I been there. They have no idea how much I cry. My 2 daughters don’t either but one lives in Oz. Trying to visit-absolutely petrified st thought, but struggling for someone to have my lovely wee pal -dog, for 6 weeks.
I try to keep busy, but have an illness that causes chronic fatigue brought on by serious car crash few years ago. Not me at all. I loved my crafts & hobbies but now there is nobody to show them or adkvif ok. That hurts. I miss him dreadfully. So sorry re your loss. Thank you so much for replying. It helps. Take care. Please chat when ever you feel like it. Xx