Is anyone else orphaned in their 40’s?

My kids are 29, 26 and 15

Kezz72,

I pine for my mum too and feel like a young child and I am 48.
I still cant believe she has gone and think I am probably still suffering some shock that she has.
Your kids need you no matter that two of them are in their twenties.be there for them and support each other. Your mum wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.
You will get through this. In the meantime it’s very hard this thing called grief x

God I get that so so much. My therapist said that thinking of ending life as I have so many times is a common thing cause the pain is so much so it’s common to think of ending life as a way to end the pain. I hope like me it isn’t a serious threat and more that you are totally overwhelmed with the pain and loss. It’s hard to ever think of life free from the pain. I now understand why people say it still hurts after years and that they have learnt to live with it.
I hope listening to everyone else you feel less alone. I am sending a massive virtual hug. Xxx

Hi Kezz72,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your parents and step-dad and that you have thought about suicide.

I think you could really do with some support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

We offer online bereavement counselling to members of this community. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: https://support.sueryder.org/bereavement-counselling

Are you getting any support for your autism, ADHD and OCD since getting those diagnoses? National Autistic Society, the ADHD Foundation and OCD UK would be good places to start.

You deserve care and support so please, Kezz, get in touch with one of these services.

If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,

Priscilla

Hi all

Just wanted to join this sad club that non of us want to be in.

I am an only child and lost my wonderful dad when I was 41 then my amazing mum when I was 42. It’s a year on and it is still hard.

My tips for what has worked for me:

Using this wonderful forum

Being with people who knew my parents

Being more selfish about who I want to spend time with and who I don’t

Counselling

Being in nature

Yoga

Writing my feelings down

Imagining what my parents would tell me to do about things. Somehow I always know.

I still love them and I feel they still love me so I plod on and things are getting brighter. I know for sure they wouldn’t want me to waste my life as life is precious so I intend to start my new chapter with that in mind.

I hope my experience helps others in some way. We are all doing great in our own way.

Sending a huge orphan hug to you all.

Ann xx

Hi Ann,

I am so sorry too you have joined this club no one wants to join. I wish the things you say would help me. I have absolutely no idea how to drag myself out of this black hole. I think about not being alive every minute of every day. I wish someone could take over my life until I was well enough to take it back and get on with things.
Thank you for sharing your story x

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