I feed the birds, too, in my yard. Good therapy. I put suet out and birdfeed. They don’t eat like birds, more like hawks! I have to replenish every day. I get to know which birds are which. I’ve always studied them, but now up close. The woodpeckers eat most of the suet. We have the red bellied ones and the downy, which are most common in these parts. When there’s no seed out, they sit on the deck or fly close to the window, letting me know!
Thank you…we all deserve some happiness, we have to know though when we are ready to receive it. I turned a corner in my grief after 2.5 yrs and have reached a place where I have let it all go. Grief is like carrying a huge boulder around, weighing you down and keeping you stuck, eventually it shrinks to a rock then a pebble and then comes total peace with it all and it’s then you get to a point why the saying “life is for living” truly starts to happen. I feel twinges occasionally but my new life has began overtaking the past one and you can finally just breathe and hope returns, you are grounded, stable and ready to embrace another chapter and the biggest blessing is ever so slowly happiness appears and you whisper to yourself, I made it through the storm…….
Wow what a good way to describe it. I realized that I am low at the moment because I always have been this time of year. I can recall meeting people on walks before I was widowed and afterwards but never lead anywhere. Just casual. I have stopped experimenting anything because you never can tell. All a bit like passing ships. I have managed to figure out at last how to empty the hoover which had stumped me before. Very silly really but he always did it. I unblock things myself as well which I never used to do. My neighbour thinks I must have been in the girl guides because I get on with tackling stuff like hacking bushes down, charging the car battery and have a go at DIY jobs. I just think I will have to try. Spend ages trying to figure it out.
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Well done you, it’s hard now having to do all these things by ourselves and very challenging. Most marriages each of you has certain things that is/becomes there job, ie my husband did all the DIY, sorted the cars, put bins out and so on, I didn’t learn from him DIY and he didn’t learn from me how to vacuum 
things were split between you both and when everything falls down to you, it’s so daunting. 2 nights after my husband died my friend phoned and said how are you Lyn, I said I’m ok now I was amazon at midnight ordering a digital tyre inflator and she was shocked she said why are doing that and laughed which I can now laugh at…I said because who else is going to do my tyres, panic sets in and you go in to overdrive, I was scared a shelf might fall down and my biggest fear of all, I went round to my neighbour and almost pleaded with him and said if I get a spider can you come round and sort it…he thought I had lost the plot (his wife may have thought something else )
This will make you all smile I hope. ….just a week after he died I went round to another neighbours for a cuppa (not Spiderman lol) didn’t want to burden him any further lol and during us chatting I suddenly piped up, how do I sort afuneral plan any advice? she nearly choked on her tea, she said Lyn, Jim has only just died and I said I know that but if I died I don’t want the state to get me (I have no family or children) so social services would cremate me and that thought horrified me, another daunting thing to do. Funeral people said what do you want doing with your ashes, I replied put me out in the recycling bin who else is going to scatter my ashes? Who cares lol, the lady did laugh …..there is always some humour in grief, not at the time but when you look and can laugh at some of it you know it’s becoming more bearable
Yes everyone deserves happiness as you say when the time right . I bumped into someone i used to work with. She has recently lost her husband 6 months ago . She has met someone else through a website . She was telling me to give it a go. I am certainly not ready for that .
I certainly wasn’t after just 6mths…I am approaching 3 years, however, we are all different. I wasn’t even looking, as I had previously got in to a couple of situations which did evolve unexpectedly/naturally but looking back I know I wasn’t ready for. I hadn’t healed for want of a better word. I then spent a lot of time alone, sorted myself out and was quite happy with my life and out the blue, out of nowhere Tony literally found me lost. I believe it was meant to be. The beauty of life is not knowing what is just around the corner that can change everything…..just like death changed our lives, so can love….
Some people will call it fate , it was meant to be . I think it lovely you met someone else , I am so pleased for you
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I can honestly say there is no greater experience than travelling this path of life walking side by side with someone. Even better for me is Tony lost his wife as well and there is a deeper bond through bereavement because we understand without saying anything, each other’s pain, fears, challenges and all that goes with the loss of a partner, I can shed a tear and he will look at me like we are looking at each other in a mirror, he will hug me and that tear becomes both of us…..
Thank you so much…we met end of August and on New Year’s Eve, he took my hand and said “one day I hope to marry you when you are ready” it was not a proposal and I couldn’t and still haven’t answered him, I was too emotional and still early days but he was indirectly saying he was always going to be there. Life is full of surprises if you give yourself a chance. Like me he reads some of the posts on here and says yes we need to help others who are grieving and hope they find their happiness in whatever way it shows up…..
That’s is so nice you both understand what each of you been through
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If you have a local dog rescue centre ask if you can volunteer to do some dog walking ,its easier ,if that is an apt description to walk if something motivates or you have committed to.
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I got three parcels in the post free from winter warm packs. I have been so cold and weather out has been extreme. Want to go out today but haven’t ventured yet as it is 0 degrees at the moment.
My feet get terribly cold even with lots help with thermal/boots.
11 weeks is raw. Maybe it will help can you get part time for a few months? Either way for me praying crying leaning on Gods strength reading little bible daily quotes on his llove will be big for you. He loves you, understands pain and desires to be a friend and comfort.