This my dad. His name was Stephen 🩵 This was taken a year into his diagnosis before his cancer spread. It’s one of my favourite pictures of him and i cherish that I can see his hands. We have exactly the same hands and I’ve passed them onto my daughter so she will carry something from him with her xx
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I feel like I could have wrote some of that myself, my children and partner don’t question me either now when I’m upset as they’re so used to seeing me that way. In many ways it’s even more isolating, and makes you feel invisible in your pain and grief.
What a lovely photo of your dad Stephen, he was obviously a wonderful human being and father who was very loved, and lucky to have been loved like that in his life 
I don’t think I’ve shared any photos of mum yet but this was her before and after, the last day I saw her alive. It’s difficult to relate these two photos as the same person. Her name was Linda and she was always the life and soul of the party, full of laughs despite facing so much pain in her life and always was there for me without question. My best friend and rock. My only constant. Miss her dearly 
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She was so so beautiful. She looks like such a lovely woman too It’s just heartbreaking. There are no words for it are they. I find myself getting worried over my own health now as my dad didn’t find out he had cancer until it had spread and they could only offer him chemo. It spread to multiple places in his body eventually because he was so poorly and just couldn’t tolerate the chemo any more. My partner can sympathise but he just doesn’t get it and I find myself being quite resentful at times because he has both his parents and I won’t ever see my dad again. It’s just not fair. I don’t understand what my dad did to deserve it. Xx
She was a beautiful lady in her prime, and her end was so so sad as was the c
ase with my mum,
I am sending you a picture of the wall memorial to my family
The gentleman on the left is my father on the occasion of his retirement as Justices Clark for the Barrow news in 1978. the middle is my mother at her silver wedding in 1982, and the gentleman with horns growing out of his head is my late twin brother.
Bless you samantha
Timxx
Hi Becky, lovely picture of your dad and no one deserves to die like that, and it is the most heart rending thing to have to say goodbye to a beloved parent, my mother died in my arms last year, and with her gone I just wanted to end it.
I have still to work out what to do with the rest of my life know I find myself basically alone in the world, i am slightly clairvoyant, my twin brother keeps coming through to me and berating me for still being hear on my own and wants me to join the others, i am not yet ready to throw in the towel, I want to see if I can make my life work first, it would be a sin not to try.
Try not to be resentful at your partner, one day, in the fullness of time he will no doubt lose a parent to, and then he will know what that is like.
Consider getting bereavement support via Sue Ryder, the feelings you are describing suggest complex grief, you really need help with that, it is important for your general health you work through the greaving process.
Blessings to you.,
Timxx
Photos are so precious and I see your loved ones full of life and happiness in these it’s wonderful to be lost just for a moment in those happy times. Wouldn’t it just be amazing to go back to those days for a little while and live the happiness? The more years that roll by it’s hard to add more photos to that special place we have of the people we lose though 
Same with my partner, just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t have a relationship with his father and although he does speak with his mum she is not a part of his daily life and he goes years without talking to her so he can never understand.
Today my eldest son, 17, just sort of told me off because I’m speaking sadly about my mum and he prefers not to and told me to stop being sad and so negative. This really pains me as it’s made me feel even more utterly alone then I did before and like I can’t talk about how I feel. It’s like I’m a bother to people and bringing them down with my sadness. I think it upsets him as he did have a close relationship with my mum and he deals with things differently but I feel silenced I talk to he y feelings out and attempt to feel better.
Sorry that happened so quickly for your dad, same with my uncle who died 10 years ago and that left me with years of grief seeing him go down hill with a fast spreading cancer and a body that could not handle treatment any longer. Life is not fair, and these people we have were wonderful and did not deserve any of what they had.
I honestly don’t feel like I’ll ever feel ok again and know I’m never going to be the same. And that brings me now to see life as something I’d rather hurry up and pass by quickly because it feels so long when you’re suffering and lost in pain. That is probably negative but it’s the truth of how I feel and I don’t see how I can pretend to be happy for others when I’m dead inside. It’s only my children I carry on for, I can’t leave them alone…
My partner was going to the gym every day after work and not getting home till after 6.30. I asked him if he could start coming home and going to bed once my youngest was in bed at 8 so I had him here as I was struggling so much. He admitted he needed the gym as a release because the atmosphere at home was bringing him down and he was on egg shells around me. I asked him to go and stay with his parents for a while if that’s how I was making him feel as I couldn’t help feeling the way I did and he will never understand the pain until he goes through it. It was absolutely awful . He didn’t go to his parents but said I needed to start trying and wasn’t helping myself I really don’t know what he expected. I was a mess when my dad was alive so he must of had an idea what i would be like when the time came for him to pass. I started to put on a brave face but eventually broke down in the kitchen and smashed some plates, I’ve learned you need to go with your feelings and let them be as hiding them does not help. I spent most of the time with my mum during the day while was off sick but now I’m back at work I spend my days worrying about my mum. Shes said she doesn’t want to be here and if it wasn’t for me and my kids she would go and be with my dad. It’s a constant worry on top of grieving for my dad xx
That’s not fair of him - I’m sure it can be difficult to always know how to deal with someone grieving but you’re the one experiencing the deep searing loss and it’s you who needs that main support and understanding. I’m sorry. Other people who don’t understand do tent do prioritise their own feelings and just assume that if we ‘try’ then we can just be better and move on. Reality is not like that unfortunately. It’s a life time journey wheee we probably just learn to carry our pain differently over the years but it never goes and we are never the same.
My partner got snappy with me as I was very stressed the whole of 2023 running up to mum dying as her condition deteriorated and the trauma badly got to me. He said I can’t blame that on how I’m acting, I said that IS THE REASON I am acting differently but he doesn’t understand, why would he I guess. Just sucks to feel alone and be expected to ‘be happy’ and ‘get over it’ it just makes me more upset and angry. These people were not something for us to forget and move on from. Makes me feel stuck and expected to be happy or there must be something wrong with me, and that makes attempting to heal even more difficult.
Samantha, thankyou for your kind comments, yes, it would be wonderful to travel back in time and revisit those happy times , the years roll by, and know I find myself basicaly alone in the world, and one realises one is getting old, and the sand is running out of the glass, and my passed twin brother keeps coming through to me and wanting me to join him and the others, o its ok for him, he has moved onto better places and the night after he passed the earth plane was messing with a movement detection light in my bedroom, he was hitting it with something to make it stay on, it was dark and I could not see what, a close friend of his had a similar experience, 50 miles away the same night, from that sprang my interest in the paranormal, mediums, clairvoyance, and the afterlife.
But remember, our loved ones walk beside us in spirit every day, and are not gone from us, they can see us, but we cannot see them.
Thank you for your comments and support, enjoy your weekend.
I do very much believe that death is not the end, and how fascinating for that to happen the same time 50 miles apart. My mum had a 6th sense and abilities that scared her whilst alive but it showed me that there is something after and greater than us and what we know. I wish that offered me more comfort than it did but the absence of them physically is still painful.
Have a good weekend also, or at least we can both have as good as one as we are able given what we are going through
Hi tim, I saw a medium about a month ago and my dad did come through to me. The things she said she could not of known. When my dad was diagnosed terminal he said his dad would come for him. My dad lost his father around the same time as me I think I was about 7 years old. My dad lost his brother in 2022 to a heart attack. The medium said my dad was with 2 other men one older and one around the same age as my dad. He could not of known this. I used to go to my grandads grave to tidy it up and ask him to please look after my dad. I really do hope they both came for my dad at the end. I have to believe they did. I’ve always believed that this isn’t it and there is something afterwards and I’ve got to believe even more so now. My mum asked my dad to wait for her and im certain he will be there when it’s my mums time 
Hi Samantha and how has your day been?, I suspect your mum was clairvoyant with out realising it, and that gave her second site and I have it to a limited extent and it saved my life on one occasion by [preventing me from running a GREEN light that would have put me under the front axle of a speeding lorry from the right.
Are mums now walk in spirit with us every day, and when we pass we will be reunited with them, we are all spirit, the body is just a vehicle that allows us to interact on earth, no less, no more, it is the spirit that gives life to the body and to our conchasness, and when the body fails we leave it.your body is NOT you,(not meaning to be impertinent) only the visible enmity, it dies, but YOU AND I DONT, and neither has your mum.
Enjoy your weekend as much as you can, I am waiting for some warm weather and the spring, and I think we all our.
Blessings and thank you for your input and support.
Timxx
Hi Becky, good evening and what an interesting posting, it does appear then that your dad, his brother and your granddad really are altogether on the other side.
According to Lisa Williams, a British medium living in the US, time travels much more slowly on the other side, your dad will not have to wait to long on his time scale before he is joined by your mum, but hopefully that will be a long time off for you.
Our mums and dads walk in spirit with us every day, and will help us in difficult times, and in the fullness of time we will be reunited.
Thank you again for your posting and support, enjoy your weekend as much as you can, keep warm, stay safe.
Blessings
Timxx