I’m sad to say that on this subject Annde should have thought twice before making any comment however well intended,this is a forum for supporting each other no matter the individual circumstances. It is absolutely impossible to speculate about the reasons for any relationship turning sour so it should always be safety first.
I’m sorry you have had more grief piled on top of what you already suffer with.
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@Ilovehorses. Despite having the correct values of respect and love instilled into him diligently from a young age , my son has chosen to systematically destroy me , his mother . Irrespective of whether you know the full situation, using an unborn child to emotionally blackmail anyone is simply morally wrong . My boy has had so much love , care and attention heaped on him throughout his life , it has turned him into a selfish and self- centred man child . He’s 30 years old and regularly swears at me like a sullen teenager. This has stemmed from his unwillingness to just be there for me at the worst point in my life . It isn’t nice to be told you are a burden when your partner of 20 years drops dead without warning. Now I’m given advice such as take space for a long time - are you suggesting that because my son has behaved in a callous and unreasonable manner towards me , I should accept the “ enjoyment “ of a life of loneliness and solitude. ?
I posted on here because people are normally compassionate and understanding, it seems that the effects of grieving has affected quite a few people‘a judgement and ability to be kind . I’m really hurting here . Since the loss of Baz , who I love and miss intensely, my son and wife have deliberately set out to destroy me . I think this is heartless, cruel, out of character for my son and shows me that he really isn’t a very nice person. I am disappointed by some responses on here but , given that people are generally too busy wrapped up in their own lives to think of others , unsurprising. I really do not need space from my family , I need decency and respect, not this behaviour of late.
Everyone who knows me in th real world is surprised to say the least by what is going on . I’ve not told anyone apart from my close family that I’m being prevented from seeing my grandson just in case they change their minds . That’s how desperate I am - and I don’t go around airing my private business to everyone as I find they have been doing . I’m devastated by this and space is the last thing I want or need .
@miker thank you for your words of kindness. My life couldn’t have possibly got any worse with the sudden loss of my beloved partner, Baz , but I find it has . Apparently bereavement commonly causes such family fall- outs although I never expected it to happen with mine . You rightly point out that anything which adds to already unrelenting grief is unbearable. Well this situation I find myself in has truly ruined what could possibly be left for me in my life . I come on here and offer my support and compassion to others going through the same experience as me , happen to mention the adverse effects it’s having on family life and , wow, the judgement keeps rolling in . Anyone who has experienced a family rift on top of a catastrophic loss will understand just how life destroying this is . I cannot express my feelings right now . Everything is lost and I can honestly say , I don’t want to be alive at this moment in time . I will appeal to my son’s better nature later if he has one and take it from there . All I want is my partner back - this is impossible I realise . Next best thing would be mending the relationship with my son and hopefully being allowed into his chip’s life . 
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@miker hopefully being let into his son’s life ! I don’t know what happened there . At least that was reasonably funny unlike my situation 
@Ilovehorses just a quick reply to you that was exactly what I was referring to. I am stepping back from this conversation now because I fear that any more involvement will not help. I really didn’t mean offence it was a knee jerk response to that one comment and perhaps I was wrong and should have not spoken out. I thank you for your understanding. We are all in very bad places at the moment and although all grieving we all do it in different ways. I appreciate that I can be judgemental at times and about certain things, a trait that I am not proud of but think was inherited from my mother, bless her.
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@Deb5 thanks for your kind words . As you can see , I’m being verbally attacked for asking advice and/ or highlighting what goes on when grief and bereavement is suddenly entered into the equation. We’re all hurting aren’t we . Since Baz’ first anniversary I’ve had a new surge of guilt ( like you ) where I ask myself why didn’t I spot something was wrong etc . I keep feeling I could have saved him . I’m feeling so bleak today . My boy is coming to see me , but I don’t know what to expect after yesterday’s phone call . He won’t let things go and at the moment I need a bit of compassion, not nastiness. All I want is to hear him say “ I love you mum “ once more , also yes of course you’ll be part of my son’s life why wouldn’t you ? These 2 things would make life more bearable but I fear they won’t happen. Life can be so shit can’t it xxx
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Where’re the moderators???
@Burgled i requested them . They’ve disappeared.
I came in here in good faith and now feel like I’ve had 20 lashes . I’ve requested to have comments deleted 
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I requested them, too, at the very beginning.
@Burgled I have messaged them
@Annde thank you for drawing it to their attention. Life’s very hard at the moment isn’t it .
I’ve heard today I’m being made homeless. This was in my mind yesterday.
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Oh @Ladysuisei6 you are having it rough ? Cant your son put you up se as you gave him some money for his house ? Maybe he will offer ? I dunno why these kids cant show more compassion , i hope he does ? X
@Deb5 he said no
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@Deb5 i have offered him £1000 a month . I’m really frightened
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Thats just mean isnt it ? Can you stay with your dad ? X
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Or just rent somewhere near your dad ? Take care anyway wont you ? X
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@Hazel.1966 thst is all very true xx
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@Ladysuisei6 i have seen all the back and forth and I am so sorry for you . I can’t imagine how one comment to your Dil had caused such a rift after all you have done for your son and her . I hope things get better for you . You have enough dealing with your loss xx
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You are Lucky you have children to grieve with you may not show it to them but at least you can go visit them or visa vesa nobody knows what it is like to be totally alone
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I have my daughter but she wasn’t my partners and doesn’t like to see me upset so won’t talk about him etc his own daughter disowned me xx
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