Hello @Lesley21, I am so sorry for the loss of your mum, I can hear the pain that you are in. Thank you for being so brave and sharing what you’re feeling with us here. I really hope that you find the community to be a support to you.
There’s a busy support thread here for people who have lost their mums - you might want to have a read and introduce yourself, if you feel up to it: Dealing with the sudden loss of my Mum
@Saraht23 and @Craigbst have also recently shared threads about losing their mums, if you would like to connect with them.
I hope that these Sue Ryder resources can help you through what you’re going through right now too:
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat. You’ve mentioned not being able to get any counselling, so if this sounds like it would be helpful please do have a look.
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Take good care, @Lesley21, and please keep reaching out - you are not alone.
Seaneen