I lost my brother nearly two years ago , and although this is the 2nd Xmas without him, I seem to be coping worse . Last year I had an operation on Xmas eve and I think that distracted me. And us all as I needed help to do everything .
He was 56 when he died suddenly and because he was single , he always spent Christmas with my parents , joined by my husband and myself. I’m
Dreading this next week as we all notice who is missing
It’s been hard since he died as my parents who are both in their 80s and have serious health issues, and my husband has been diagnosed with kidney cancer and will be having major surgery in the new year. As well as other personal issues our children are experiencing - I am really struggling to deal with everything else in life.
My house looks like a bomb went off , unopened mail , unfinished tasks and work is going the same way.
I feel that I’m at breaking point but am scared to let go as I’m worried that I’ll struggle to stop crying .
Dies anyone has any recommendations of the best way to distract myself.
Thank you for so bravely reaching out to the community. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed, which is completely understandable. No matter how long it’s been, holidays and special occasions can be an especially painful time for those who are grieving.
You are not alone. We have many members who have experienced the loss of a sibling and will understand some of what you’re going through. You can read conversations our members have shared on our Losing a sibling category page.
You may also find it helpful to read our Losing a sibling page on our website. It talks you through some of what you might be feeling, and how to cope.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care
Hello @Julia1964 , I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time. It sounds like you were a wonderful sister and your whole family rely on you. Try to delegate tasks over Christmas to other family members if possible, because oddly enough people might think it helps you to keep busy when it actually stresses you out. Try and still involve your brother at Christmas by talking about him, sharing photos and happy memories and let the tears flow. It’s all a part of grieving and you might find other family members need this too.
Don’t worry about your house and unfinished tasks, all that matters is your love for your brother and your family. Just be kind to yourself and make time to do things you enjoy, such as reading or watching TV. If there is anything your brother liked to do, you could do this in his memory so that it gives you something to focus on.
Thankyou for your kind words. I found even just writing down how I’m feeling helped . I struggle to voice my emotions without crying so tend to bottle up when around my parents or my husband as they have their own issues .
I will remember Pete , by trying to remember all the fun times at Christmas rather than be sad. X wishing you and yours the best Christmas possible and again thank you for your response. It means so much that you took the time to respond. X
Thank you @Julia1964 . This will be my first Christmas without my son Marvin who suddenly passed away in October at the age of just 26 so it will be a tough one. You will find the strength, us mums somehow find an inner strength when we need it most. Hold on tight to your loved ones and wishing you a merry Christmas xx
