I lost my beautiful wife 25th July and I know I’ll have to sort her things eventually but I haven’t the strength yet. Well done for facing this ordeal. Perhaps a little at a time is best.
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Hello, it sounds like it’s too early for you, if there is no rush to do it then don’t? Leave everything where it is until it feels better? It took me 3 years before I could do it, I got great comfort being surrounded by everything but in the end they were getting dusty so I kept a few bits with special memories attached & let the rest go.
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@bussteve1
There is no time limit for these things. It may be a few weeks, a few months or a few years. It may never feel like the right time and never get done. It doesn’t matter. It’s only the right time if that time feels right for you. My beautiful wife died in September. aged 46. Apart from two pairs of her boots and a jacket that I gave to a dear friend of hers and my sister, I am nowhere near ready to sort her things. I have however decided that when I start sorting I’m going to keep some things that feel special. Some clothes, some jewellery and some little things that just make me think of her. There are some things that to most people wouldn’t seem significant or special that I can’t bear to get rid of. Take care.
Mike
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Hi please take it slowly ,her precious things are important.I have not been able or have the desire to do anything with my wifes things.I have her ashes with me in our lounge sitting on her favourite chair.I cannot bear to part with her. Do not rush into doing something you might regret. Michael x
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Hi Nigel, I lost my Husband same day on July 25th last year,so sorry for your loss, I feel exactly the same as you, about his clothes and belongings, I.just look at them and walk back out the room, its so hard to do, my Sons say they will help me when I’m ready , I’m just not sure when that will be, wishing you and all of us on here, the strength to get through this awful time.
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I lost my wife in June last year. Most of my wife’s clothes I have already disposed of but I’ve kept some important items such as the blouse she wore at our wedding 7 years ago. Generally though, the house is much as it was when she died and I’m in no hurry to sort things out. The important thing is only to sort through things when you are comfortable doing so, and when you feel it is the right time. If it’s too upsetting then leave it for another time.
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There’s no right time. Just do it when you feel ready. My husband passed away in May 22. I just sorted through things one room at a time. I boxed his things up and put them in the garage then after a while took them to the charity shop. I left special items of his in each room. The garage still has his walking books and wellies. His Barbour in the cloakroom, his favourite jumpers in the wardrobe, his handkerchiefs in his bedside draw. Every room has something of his in so that I don’t feel that I’ve removed him from our home.
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My husband passed away 19 months ago and everything of his is still how he left it. I’m thinking of moving and if I do, I will take everything with me. Perhaps in time I will feel differently but for now, everything of his stays with me.
Take care everyone
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Hi,all my husband’s things are still where he left them , after 16 months I still can’t even think of moving them , it’s my husband’s home , even though I think of it now as just a house, I know that probably doesn’t make sense to others, but it does to me and how my broken heart and brain works , ALL xtake carex
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Hi
I feel exactly the same, this is still Ian’s home and if I have to move to a new one, that will be his as well. It may sound strange to others but to me it isn’t!
Take care x
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@Trixie1
It makes perfect sense. My wife and I took out insurance when our second son was a baby. When my beautiful wife, Nicci died in September 22 the insurance money cleared the remaining balance on our mortgage. The house is now completely ours, not just mine. I said “it’s all ours now”.
I just wish she’d been alive to see that mortgage paid off and feel happy in the knowledge that every brick of the home we love so much was all ours now.
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I haven’t moved a single thing…. Even Martins book is still in the bathroom where he left it…with his little bookmark 
…… I’m planning on selling our home and moving, only then will I pack up, but bring him with me…
I don’t sleep in our bedroom anymore, but occasionally go and sit on our bed… it’s just so heartbreaking.
Sending love to you all… xx:broken_heart:
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I totally agree. Michael xx
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My husband died in February 22 and it’s nearly the year anniversary, I have given items anyway and sold some stuff as finances are a bit tight. I found it difficult opening cupboards and wardrobes seeing all his lovely things, everyone is different but it’s helped me. I’ve kept sentimental items and his dressing gown as it makes me feel closer to him. He will always be in my life.
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My husband died on the 20 June 2020 and I have all his clothes, shaving tackleand much more. I have no intention of getting rid of anything just yet. There is no time limit on grief so take time and don’t feel guilty about being unable to part with your wife’s possessions. My days still feel empty as do my nights but I try to think how David would be if he were here and then I move myself, as he would have done. We met at school and had 53 years together in all. So please take things one day at a time…
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Hi Sandra my step daughter already has taken what she wanted without asking and disappeared for months. I get the occasional phone call to ease her conscience but, otherwise I am entirely alone.
We’ll survive Sandra, sending you love
Nigel
xx
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So sorry to hear about your Stepdaughter behaving that way, Nigel, but yes,we will carry on in the best way we can, my best wishes to you,. X
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I found this link about you saying not sure about your wife’s things. I have been wearing my husband’s things like his tea shirts, socks, jeans, jumpers, shoes.
He was the same size.
My son might wear some to work.
He same size too.
He left lots new looking coats he never wore. So I sometimes try them in as it is my hobby. Going to use his stuff to make a king Charles scarecrow.
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Good morning to all my beloved friends on this amazing site which has given me such great comfort ever since I lost my dear wife Judith to bladder cancer on 27th September 2021 at 2.15pm on that awful terrible day.I too cannot disturb her things any of her things I treasure everything she wore or touched.It goes without saying that everyday I miss her more and more,this lonely life is wearing me down day by day.Living in the bungalow alone that once was our lovely home is so soul destroying.I remember her last day like it was yesterday,laying there in that hospice bed taking her last few breaths and then nothing she was gone from me.My life changed forever in that horrendous moment.We the ones left behind have to try to carry on but sometimes I wonder if it is all worth the pain and grief we have to endure every day .I have never known such loss before ,my parents are gone and I have even lost a Son aged 28 to a car accident but this is something else.We all have different stories to tell of how we lost that special someone and the support we get from each other is quite amazing.I still cry for her and beg her to come to me . I have to close now because I am getting too emotional so much love to you all. Michael xx
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I hope I don’t feel as upset as I do now in two year’s time that is if I am still alive as by then I will be 80. But who knows? I haven’t moved the last note he wrote to himself. It was a reminder what to do before going in hospital but in his writing. It is poignant.
Why I do it is a bit nuts as it only upsets me seeing it. Suppose reminds me how organised he tried to be. How he was. What I liked a out him. That he did that
Can’t somehow. But see how I feel. Yesterday I was upset as he loved the Morris dancing but last year wasn’t well enough and all the crowds. I only wanted to go because my grandson was dancing round the maypole and we have never seen any of them wanting to do it before.
I felt like a fish out if water in my own. I stuck it out too long really. So tired today now. But all the work to do on my own now.
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