Hello @Tracey1965, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Thank you for sharing a photo of Victoria with us - she was beautiful. I can hear how much pain you are in - it can’t have been easy to share this so openly, so thank you too for your bravery. It sounds like you have been trying so hard to find a way to cope with your grief; I really hope that art therapy is helpful for you.
I am sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to let you know that you have been heard and that you are not alone. Many of our members have experienced the loss of a child and felt overwhelming guilt, so can understand some of what you are going through. I wanted to share these two threads which you might be able to relate to, here and here.
I hope you find the community to be a support - take care and please do keep reaching out.
Seaneen