Thanks Katherine. It helps so much to be on this forum talking to people who actually feel the same and understand. My dad loved to help with whatever needed doing too, whether it was gardening or DIY. It breaks my heart that I took his support for granted for so many years. It just felt like we were a permanent team. I wish I’d told him how much I loved and appreciated him (I did during his final illness, but i don’t think it really sank in - I should have done it before then).
I also remember my dad telling me that losing your parents is part of life - unpleasant, but you learn to live with it. Maybe I might be able to live with it in the future the way I’d learn to live with losing a limb, but I know I’ll always mourn my old life with him and long for him to be here every moment. He was just the best.
Keep in touch when you can. It helps to talk and I’d love to hear more about your relationship with your dad.
x
Thanks. The forum is very helpful I very much feel understood here too. The few people I know who have lost parents seem to have been able to get on with life again fairly soon after. I’m not sure whether they just hide their pain well or if they just didn’t have as close of a relationship with their parents. It very much seems that the closer you were to the person the worse the grief is.
I think it’s the everyday things that matter and show how much you love and value the person. It sounds like you have a fantastic bond with your dad and no doubt he knew you loved and appreciated him and vice versa.
My dad tried to prep me for him not being here and I wish we had talked about it more but it was too upsetting. He said if I go inwards on it and feel like it’s worse for me than others then I’ll be miserable. If I keep moving my feet and move forwards then all I’ll be left with are happy memories. He also said he was never the same after his mother died which rings true as I feel like a completley different person since losing dad.
I had this fear, too. I think it is common. believe me! you will not forget. all that happens is slowly the pain eases. I went overseas after my mom died and I was like, I have to go home now and be with my mom. she was dead. the mind-spirit leads us in strange ways in grief.