I did the same but it wasn’t good being by yourself 
makes you dwell on it more ! Cant win can you xx
So sorry to hear of your Loss I know exactly what you are feeling
Val
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Where ever I am, what ever I’m doing I think about my husband. Finding the second year so much harder than the first. After 18 months my grown up children are moving on and they want me to as well. They don’t get how bleak my life is, how much I wish it wasn’t me left behind and how much better it would have been if it was their father who had survived. He’d only had 15 months of living in his dream ‘escape to the country’ home before a massive heart attack happened out of the blue. All our stories are so similar, I suppose we’re all trying to get on with things in this harsh new reality we share - I don’t recognise myself anymore and how I hate being on my own after 39 happy years of marriage. All I can say is to try and remember what our loved ones would want for us, but at the same time give yourself leave to mourn in your own way. Family can be supportive, but can also load pressure on to ‘get better’, which can be isolating in itself. Do whatever is best for you and don’t be rushed into anything. I was persuaded to move back to the city within a year, but I’d give anything to go back to our last home together. Hugs and best wishes for everyone here x
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Just read your post and really resonated with me because my kids are just the same. Grown up too and getting on with their lives - except we cant can we because our husbands were our lives. My kids dont seem to get that or the lonliness that comes with it. I dunno.what to say apart from do what makes you happy. Why dont you go look at your old house you lived in together and stay there a weekend in a b&b or something? Might bring back some of those good memories ?
Take care xxx