Dear Jane
Like you, funny enough, whilst i am indecisive, i have decided to get the house into a good place, where, if i did want to sell, i would be in ship shape.
I have not started the declutter. I think, probably because of the fear of touching any thing that is my husband’s, i have not touched any of it, and though its not in the clutter category, i know its another challenge i will have to face in the future.
I think if i do move, it will be in the same area, because of my connections. So i do not have to face a different area. It will be a massive fresh start for you karen, so you to sound so wise, how you have mapped out a doable progression, if you ever feel ready.
The last thing we need is any regrets, the reality of loosing our loved one’s is hard enough. If i do ever make the leap, i will look for this thread and update you.
So sorry you had such a traumatic passing at home to . It really does play havoc in the whole loss impact. As you say, not romantically pleasant passing, like in a movie, so feel for you. Massive warm heart felt hug to you.
My husband died at home. Fortunately, if you can call it that, my brother in law is a critical nurse at Addenbrooks hospital. Despite his and everyone’s best efforts they couldnt bring Martin back from his heart attack but he made sure that after the paramedics left, he made Martin look very comfortable so that I could go and say goodbye to him.
Strangely I have had no problem with being in the room where he passed but our home became just a house after that day.
In the early days I was just waiting for Martin to walk through the door and make things normal again.
A few more weeks down the line and I am beginning to feel a bit more settled. I think I will need to tweak a few things to feel more settled so I know to stay would have been the right idea.
My dilemma comes from a different angle. In July we was supposed to have a new kitchen, obviously I put everything on hold. Do I go a head and have exactly what we choose, will it make me sad to know Martin isn’t here to enjoy it or do I go totally different so it feels like a fresh start
I can only tell you of my own experience. When my wonderful husband passed he had only been retired for just over two months and we had so many projects planned. I decided to continue with them but obviously I had to get a handyman in to help. I am so glad I did because I know David would have approved of the end results. Everything was done just as we had planned together and so he remains very much a part of it. I know he would be chuffed to bits that I continued with our plans.
I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for you Dee. xx
