My husband became ill eight years before he died. Before he became ill, we had purchased wallpaper, paint etc. to decorate two rooms but he didn’t have the strength to do it and didn’t want the upset of decorators in. He died seven years ago and the year after he died I decided to go ahead and decorate the two rooms with the items we had bought all those years before.
I got a decorator and he did it exactly as we had planned, now my front and back lounges are decorated in the exact same way my husband would have done it and it pleases me to know that even though it is now 15 years since we bought the wallpaper and paint etc, I can sit in my room and still feel him all around me. If I were you, I would go ahead and have your new kitchen fitted because you chose it together and that means it must have needed changing.
I have bought new sofas and carpets since my husband died only because they were ruined with all the oxygen tanks, wheelchairs and paramedics that passed through our rooms over the eight years my husband was ill but I chose them in the colours we both liked, I love my home, it is my haven, it does not feel empty at all because it is full of memories from the day he carried me over the threshold all those many, many years ago. Pictures he hung, which we chose together when we first moved in still hang on the wall, wooden curtain poles he installed are still in place. Our sons ask me why I don’t change the pictures, I tell them because they mean something to me, we chose them together, I can see him now asking if the picture is straight and I am saying left a bit, right a bit.
I did consider moving as I needed new roofs on the extension, porch and garage and I could not get anyone to come because of the pandemic and when they did turn up I never saw them again. I finally found a lovely company (through BARK) and they did it all for me and now my home is in tip top condition so I am going nowhere, I have also found a gardener and diy man and he works for me from April through to end October doing odd jobs, mainly hedge cutting, so now I can sit in my lovely garden in the summer and knit away.
I have just come out of hospital after having Pneumonia and I organised it all by myself, rang for the ambulance as I could not get a doctors appointment, my bag was packed and ready to go, I no longer have any fear about being taken ill alone, I will just ring for the ambulance. I have finally realised that I am stronger than I thought I was, I can cope alone and if and when the day finally arrives that I can no longer look after myself I will also take that in my stride as well. Nothing can ever be worse than losing the one person I spent most of my life with, my husband,