I felt touched by your post as its just how I see things. I’m feeling that grief is just a different dimension with love and I don’t really want to lose that. Carolyn will just live in my heart and mind for ever, and I will just try to build a different life around that. It may be diminished but it’s still life and it’s precious.
Xx
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Hello YL. We’ve never explored this coastline to any extent, always North Wales. It is absolutely stunning. I do like a rugged coast and lots of coastal paths to walk. I’ve been to the Blue Lagoon today, well worth a visit. Yes, the wild flowers are beautiful and the sun is actually shining. I know the Llyn Peninsula fairly well and mid Wales fairly close to Shropshire. If you’re passing anywhere near Shrewsbury give me a shout…
It does feel good to get away I must admit but always tainted with sadness. Good to hear from you YL. X
I have also done some solo breaks, by choice, and it has been bittersweet, particularly when I have been to places we loved go. Last one saw me get very upset as I arrived and stood at a spot I could see both of us sitting only 18 months before. But for me it’s not a negative experience, it’s part of healing and letting memories in. I plan a challenge each time, walking volcanos, Jeep experiences, next one is exploring the capital of Tenerife. Travelling there on the local bus and staying overnight. If I chat to people, that’s good, if I don’t, that’s absolutely fine too. You see, I don’t feel I’m on my own, Jimmy is never far from my side. Of course I need to consider my safety and not take risks. I travelled with my work before I retired, so I suppose that helps me. I have a long list of places to visit with firm plans for next year. Best thing about going away? Returning to my home, full of memories which gives me true peace. None of this is what I want, what I want I can’t have, so I have to carry on, grateful that I have been able to experience Jimmy close by. Sometimes I wonder where I get the strength to carry on, then I realise it’s from the love we shared for 47 years…which didn’t end last year when he passed away. It remains within.
A lovely post Sandra, thank you. I too feel I’m never on my own and that gives me the strength to go on. Sometimes my heart is almost bursting from the love I carry within…x
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Hi Pat
I had the most awful migraine yesterday and felt so ill I did not even cry - or write to him. I will do it today. Gary was always so considerate when I was ill - but I just used to send him away… I would have done anything to see him looking round the door asking if I was OK and worrying about me. You are right this blxxdy hurts doesn’t it.
It will be a long time before I can watch anything again. Instead I find looking at photos of him when we were young are not as painful as the recent ones - so will try to keep to that until I am stronger.
Rained again here last night so everything is soggy. That lawn needs cutting again but instead will pain the other half of the bedroom wall. But when I feel better - still not up to much yet.
Take care and I hope you are feeling better and less breathless.
xx
I have been unwell over the last couple of days and basically no sleep. Viral I think, so just have to rest. But this is when you feel very alone and miss the love and care from the person who would make sure you were ok. It’s really my first time and it’s hard. I need major surgery on my foot at some point, in a cast, non weight bearing for 6 weeks then 6 weeks in a moon boot. Recovery is then slow, up to a year. So, for now I try to minimise aggravating the permanent discomfort. I have already planned how I can cope, including changing car to automatic so I can drive after 6 week post op. But it’s the fact that I will have to be dependent on others that I will struggle with. How different it would be if Jimmy was here.
Hi Kate
Have you been to St Justinians yet. I can recommend the jet boats which go to Ramsey Island via The Bitches… the ultimate distraction. Life would never be the same afterwards :))
I am coming close to Shrewsbury but not sure yet which day. I could send you a Pm when I know. Xx
Hello YL. Haven’t been to St Justinian’s. I have 2 dogs so probably not jet boats. Sounds good though. Today we have been to Strumble Head. The dogs are shattered! I’ve said it before but I have to say it again, the coastline is incredible in this part of Wales. The hedgerows are full of foxgloves which is quite unique.
Yes, PM me when you know more with regards Shrewsbury, which is also well worth a visit…x
I’m sorry you’re not feeling well Sandra. Sending you love and lots of it xx
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I think the coastline in Pembrokeshire is very similar to Cornwall but much quieter, more chance of finding parking and plenty of nice places to eat out. I looking forward to it.
I like Shrewsbury. I’ve a brother in law that lives in Shifnal and we ofter visited
Shrewsbury.
I will PM you when I’ve got a date. X
I am sorry you are not well - it is hard to be alone when we are poorly. As if we did not already miss them enough - it highlights how different things are as we have been so used to having someone looking out for us and helping us. I hope you have someone you can rely on to help you after your operation.
Take care and get well soon
Trisha xx
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