Dear Shiela,
Thank you for your kind and supportive message. Yesterday as you know I went to a fund raising event in the village in aid of COPD research, we had over 250 people including children’s support, the weather was not sunny but dry. We all enjoyed lovely cream tea and fellowship and a successful fund raising of £860.00.
All the time I was there amongst laughter and amusement I was aware of something significant missing there I.E. Marion, as usual I dreaded coming home to an empty house. Thursday’s and Sunday’s are bad days for me as Marion passed away on Sunday and she was cremated on Thursday. I met some of friends who I had’nt seen for quite some time and some who were on holidays around Marion’s passing and funeral. There was some emotion and crying which made me welled up.
I had a lovely dinner with my neighbour, in fact all my neighbours understand my feelings over Thursdays and Sundays as at least one of them would come over and spend time with me on these days. I am so fortunate to have such a settled neighbour hood who look out for one another. I am certain I would have struggled without their help even during the dark days of Marion’s ever deteriorating condition where she could not be left alone even just a short time.
I do not yet know how I coped over the last eighteen months where I had virtually none to very little sleep as Marion was on high level of pressurized Oxygen where during sleep several times I had to secure her oxygen tube, and because she was on oral morphine she was prescribed with laxative so during the night if she had an accident the bed had to be changed, this happened at least two or three times per week. All this time no matter how tired I was I never made her feel guilty, Dear Shiela this is what you do when someone is part of your soul and care for that person is non negotiable. Peter was so fortunate to have someone special like you to have beside him in his last days of passing. Both of us will for ever cherish the happy memories.
Kindest regards Shiela.
Look forward to hearing from you soon, meantime please do take care.
Lots of love
Mac
Hello Shiela,
Indeed the dreaded COPD the horrible lung condition, although Marion developed a tumor in her left lung and the top of lung collapsed it was the COPD caused most distress. Morphine gave her some relief but it came with side effects I.e. Constipation. Which made her more breathless therefore the last resort was laxatives, oh Shiela it was the dreaded merry go round, I used to get so stressed changing bed,washing bed sheets some three or four times a day, that I used to disappear in the Garage for half an hour at a time, just sitting in the dark.
Over the last few days I have been going for a walk just for an hour or so with my friend. I am quite fortunate to have good neighbours who look out for me every day. This morning I have enquired about a bereavement support group who meet in a church about fifteen miles away. It is a Wednesday lunch meeting where light lunch is provided and an opportunity to meet others like myself. I’ll let you know how I got on.
I know what you mean about the dark nights approaching, Autumn was Marion’s favorite season and she loved every thing about Christmas, lights carol singing food etc, I am not too sure how I am going to cope with it, may be I am looking too far ahead.
I do drive but my bus pass is worth its weight in gold. At least I use the bus four times a week, even just for a run. But like every day when I go out, I have to come to the house in state of emptiness, I just dread that.
Look forward to hearing from you soon
Lots of love
Mac
So srorry for your lost, I lost my husband after 48 years, I have a wonderful family, but still feel bro lonely, not sure. After a year not sure how. To move on