Carl, you matter and your life matters. Please visit your GP as soon as possible to explain how you feel. Also, the Samaritans are wonderful to speak to when you hit a very low point in life.
Carl, I understand how you feel. Trapped in a day to day existence without your loved one is a meaningless, daily torture. I have 1 important commitment to fulfill then like you i just want it all to end and the pain to stop.
Sorry I don’t know any other sites , Sue Ryder site doesn’t help me now either .Wishing you well Sadme.
Since Sue Ryder removed my reply I’ll repost it.
The Samaritans are great if you want someone to talk to. They don’t bring back the loved ones we have lost.
All I am now doing is simply passing time until the next best day of my life, the day I die and join the woman I love in paradise.
I don’t know why your post was removed. Samaritans are great if you want someone to talk to but talking to strangers doesn’t help me. It makes me feel even more desperate. Hours of counselling left me worrying about what to say at the next session. There is no solution that I can find. Wishing you well Sadme
Hi @Carl1955 - your post hasn’t been removed by staff, it looks as though you have done so yourself, presumably by accident? I can put it back if you like?
No it’s fine, I reposted more or less the same thing. I haven’t been visiting since you made the site less user friendly. I’m sure I probably did inadvertently do something to remove it.
But why make things simpler when you can make it worse right?
It’s not like anyone visiting the site has any kind of issue which might make them depressed, impulsive or prone to harm themselves.
Hi @Carl1955. The main reason the site has been updated was because the technology behind the old version was becoming out of date and starting to have problems. We would have reached a point where we could no longer get technical support to keep it working. There is more information about the reasons for the changes here: I am totally confused
Hi Carl, of course we don’t have any of these problems, why should we !!!
I also lost one of my messages and haven’t got a clue how I did it. Have I done something clever do you think that I have no idea about. I am trying to keep it all simple but I am becoming more confused and wondering how many people that message me and think I am ignoring them because I don’t reply but I simply don’t find these messages. Just found one today from nearly a month ago and no idea how I missed it. I am getting the idea about searching the forum but sometimes things are there and then they have gone and I am beginning to think I have lost the plot…
Well you know Priscilla that’s the old technical support method of keeping themselves in work. It works fine but if they don’t update and make constant changes they become unemployed. I really don’t care, I almost never come to the site now. When something ceases to be helpful or useful the best thing is to quit using it.
I just feel sorry for people who are still seeking help and haven’t yet discovered how pointless it all is. Some of us already know the one and only real cure for grief.
You have a wonderful day now.
Just a quick note as I spotted elsewhere you had problems with emails. Any sent to me are being rejected because I blocked the site.
The thing is, Carl if you pass away by your own hand, you won’t,be in Paradise, with the one you love you will be earthbound, and will never move on. I don’t know of anyone who can bring the dead back to the living, only Jesus Christ, I was a Samaritan for a number of years, I finished up as Deputy Director of our local branch, a lot of time and listening to heartrending calls were put in by myself and all the volunteers. Just have a good think, and remember those who know you and love you.
I am having problems in general with my emails.
No Carl not all of us find it pointless. True we are struggling, true we are heartbroken and true many other problems to cope with, However pointless no way. Some of us want a life and trying hard to find that life. I’m not sure I know what the cure for grief is, I haven’t found it yet, not completely.
I agree, Pat x
OK I truly give up with this ridiculous site. It deletes posts by itself.
Done and dusted, out of here.
No, Carl, please don’t go. I know this new look forum can be a bit frustrating at times but it’s not a problem. I have had posts deleted and no idea how I did it. Never mind it’s not the end of the world. Stay with us.
Love Pat xxxxx
It is a problem on top of everything else, I am so sick of being alive.
There are so many people who have been kind to me, I don’t want to let them down but I don’t want to live without the woman I love either.
I engage in many activities which had someone said a year ago I’d be doing I’d have laughed in their face, I enjoy those activities, I feel guilty for enjoying them because she isn’t with me and at best they are just temporary relief for the only real cure, death.
Carl I lost my partner 6 months ago. She overdosed and I feel lost and feeling a pain like my soul yearns to be with her and life here has lost its meaning. So I know how you feel. It is horrible, not a hour passes it is always there. Lastly I think about ending it too. To be honest my health has got so bad since her death I think it might happen naturally. All I can say is I know my woman would want me to find happiness in this life if she passed on she told me that 4 months before she passed. And your partner would most likely want the same for you. And if there is an after one day we will be reunited let time take its course.
Hello all…I lost my partner 3 months ago…partner the word doesnt cut the close/devoted/loving man he was…the thing that hurts everyday is not hearing him laughing/being affectionate to me…and I know I’ll never meet anyone like him the rest of my life. Im sat here thinking 45 yrs ago today my dad died and 20 yrs ago my brother (im 60)…i survied terrible loss /pain then and just take a day at a time thats all we can do…but im determined to get through my grief /it helps that i talk to my partner everyday…just as if he’s right by my side…and i laugh because i know his answers…I have to live on…my mother lives with me (aged 88)…i made a promise to my dad i would look after her all those years ago…she worked and brought 4 of us up…(where did she get the strengh)…and dealing with her grief…never went with another man all her life…losing my partner made me realise the loneliness my mum has had all these years…she told me “memories of your dad are with me everyday…it will hurt like hell for me now but slowly life will have meaning…Brian is right by your side”…this comforted me…
Dear Carl, I am so sorry you feel as you do and afraid I can’t really say much to help as although I am still suffering and don’t want to live without my husband I also don’t want to die.
I can tell you are in pain but you really have been trying hard, You have volunteered to help others and joined in activities you enjoy, so you have found some strength throughout this journey. Please keep digging deep.