And a very warm hello to you Alan, unfortunately my teenagers do not want me to draw them into any form of conversation concerning or relating to Balbir, not listening and today for example they asked me to stop that and move on, I cannot do that as I tried to express my feelings about her to them.
I feel like being left out someone looking in on the outside, affecting my health.
I’ve do all chores revolving around the house and they refuse to help me in any way, pacifically told me ???, I wonder if someone is influencing them, constantly receiving txt messages from members of my late wife’s friend and family,
Seems to be dillema, attitudes have changed and a wall of silence has been built in front of me.
Don’t know how to manage the situation, don’t respect me as a dad or the fact that I’m now responsible for them, perhaps it just a lack of communication or some form of conveying our circumstances.
Alan I thank you and least I have a newfound friend.
You’re a gentleman sir.
Seems I’m having to deal with the demons in my own household, just getting harder, harder each week.
Lost lot of weight and feel depressed and I wish my life was lost instead of my wife’s, would have perhaps coped better and had the children’s respect.
Ravinder.
Hello Ravinder, you are in a tough situation here and trying to cope with it all by yorself. Sometimes when other people don’t want to accept the facts they blame someone else and they get more and more determined to hang on to this fiction. Perhaps your children want you to show the strength they don’t feel - yes, they may well have got the wrong idea of strength but many people do (I’ve done it often enough).
I feel you need some outside help, perhaps your GP or the Cruse organisation, perhaps contact the Community Manager at the email on the lhs of this page. You may be criticised for this but if it helps, it helps, and I am sure your god will give you the strength to see all this through, Balbir will give you the strength too.
Take care, you are not alone.
Alan
Alan today I ended up in casualty for six hours suffering with heart palpitations and shortness of breath, luckily they treated me and home.
The stress and greiving has finally hit home concerning my health, kids never asked nor txtd me whilst in hospital, luckily my sister was supporting me.
The elder one the root cause,the younger two heed and side with him, cutting me off from them.
Left in limbo considering what I’ve done for them since birth together with Balbirs input. On my own I’m being treated and not respected by them, don’t listen and don’t care.
My health is now suffering and I shall bide my time and ignore them, god help me.
It boils down to the point, forgotten who helped to bring them up, feed and clothe them, pay the bills over all these years and put a roof over them.
I am loosing them through lack of them respecting me, I’ve tried believe me.
Sorry to burdon you Alan with such hard, suppressing and definitive comments relating to my situation.
You take good care of yourself, your messages comfort my needs .
Ravinder.
Sorry you are getting so stressed out, the emotional impacts on the physical and vice versa , it’s a catch 22 situation. I’m glad your sister was supporting you. I’m hoping your children will come round but I do feel some professional help would be good. In the past, for various reasons, I have telephoned the Samaritans and found it helpful to speak to someone direct. I recommend it. I haven’t tried telephoning Cruse but they may be of some help too. And it’s no burden to listen Ravinder, and if it is easier to do a private message you’re welcome. Thinking of you.
Alan
Hi,
Been a month since Balbirs funeral on the 12th December felt lost, lonely yesterday and the events came flooding back.
Seems time just whisks by quickly, seven weeks since I last spoke to her exactly today.
Painful horrifying experience I wished never occurred and has left me dejected, bitter as to why?
Anyway Alan I sincerely bid you well in your suffering and hope your alright.
I lost your private message from afew days ago, would be greatful if I could have your email details again.
I accidentally sent my message containing mines to the community manager, she is going to pass that on to you soon.
Apologies for any inconvenience Alan/Priscilla.
Thanks.
Ravinder.