I miss my mum’s happiness.
The laughter, the conversations well into the night.
I miss him coming up the stairs saying ‘goodnight princess’, ‘alright chuck’ and so on.
He’d double check locking the doors, make me smile if I was sad just by looking at him. He had a beautiful contagious grin and a glint in his eye that was pure and genuine.
He had time for anyone and alot of men keep coming up to mum asking if she’s okay. She is not. She cries to sleep every night.
I miss hearing the sound of him coming back from the pub knowing it was settling down for the night time
I miss his walk up the stairs that was his sound, I miss his 4+ cups of tea every morning. The kettle was always boiling. I miss him looking out the kitchen window always watching the garden.
I miss having long talks with him about anything and everything. The weird and the wonderful. The way he’d be open to talk. I miss my best friend. I miss feeling safe and protected. I miss the light he brought to this house as a family. I miss him so much. A month tomorrow.
This isn’t the way I ever thought it would be. Cancer is wicked. I miss my dad.