1 year has past

My sister died a year ago, we weren’t expecting as told so many different things wrong with her, I posted a year ago but today I am sat weeping, I have to tell myself every day she has died, but I’ve caught myself out today, her best friend was over as we are breeding our dogs together and in my head I thought I must message Rebecca and tell her when reality hit me, it’s still so raw and people think I should be over it now as its been a year, my husband thinks I dwell on it and I had to put our dog to sleep just a year after her death, my dad is terminal so waiting on that day and feel its all to much to be strong all tbe time when you just want to cry, I am struggling with the NHS how they failed her when they knew she had cancer but treated her for infection cause they thought her cancer was an ok one. I have had bereavement counselling and they said I am suffering ptsd and irrational thoughts and to stop and go with what she was telling me, and how to feel, it’s been an awful year at work too, probably just having a bad day thank for listening


Dear @Lean.mil

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister and for what you are going through.

Unfortunately grief has no time limits. Grieving is a process not something an individual should “get over” or “move on” from. You do it at your pace and every one is different.

You will get good days and bad days and that is normal and part of the grieving process. You do need to be gentle with yourself.

Sue Ryder has a Grief Self-Help Service that contains useful information and helps you to understand and cope with your bereavement and grief. It would be worth taking a look.

You can also connect with members here who have experienced what you are going through by typing in the search bar Losing a Sibling, the support here is amazing.

Please take care of yourself and continue to reach out, you are not alone and we are all here for you.


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Sorry for your loss and who ever said you should be over it obviously hasn’t lost anyone close. I lost my husband last August and I miss him everyday. I will never “get over it” as they say. When we lose someone it leaves a big black hole and sometimes it’s unbearably. Also you’ve had a lot to contend with this last 12 months it’s no wonder you are struggling but you’ve come to the right place we don’t judge and will always offer support. I to have had a rotten year first my husband died due to NHS negligence then my sister in law got covid and died then at her funeral I found out my dad has prostate cancer (he lives away and haven’t seen him for ages but that’s another story ) now I’m had to leave my home we built together and get rid of all his belongings. Some days I could just sit and cry my eyes out its so lonely on your own but I read posts on here and I don’t feel so alone. So keep posting and reading others stories. Take care and hope you get some support xx


I’m so sorry you have to go through this too, my dad to lives away, he was given a month last May not this may and he is still with us, it’s lung cancer, terminal they can’t treat it as he was becoming to ill, I hope your dad is at stage where he can get treatment and things start to get better so you can have some calm x

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Glad your dad is doing OK my step dad died in 2009 with lung cancer they found it to late he was diagnosed in December 2008 and died in January 2009 life is so cruel at times. My husband is buried next to him so I can visit them both every day. Be glad when I can join them both.

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