It was just an ordinary day. We had enjoyed a weekend away, came home, did a bit of shopping, gardening, watched a bit of television and went to bed with the usual good night kiss. Next thing he was snoring. Suddenly the noise changed, realising this was not normal, I tried to wake him but he stopped breathing. I shook him, slapped his face, dialled 999. 15 minutes of chest compressions before help arrived. To cut a long story short, he lived for three weeks but never regained consciousness. It was cardiac arrest that caused lack of oxygen to his brain. No warning, he had been fit and well. We were happily married, having both been widowed 20 years ago. My first husband also suffered a sudden cardiac arrest.
This feels so unfair. I am absolutely devastated. I have done this before and I should know what to do. But I am right back there, the future looks big, black and scary. I am a full-time carer for my disabled daughter and I have to carry on for her but I feel so floored by being left alone again. I was 20 years younger last time and my daughter’s condition has deteriorated significantly in that time. I never expected to marry again and I certainly wasn’t looking for a new partner. We met through friends and he was so lovely with my daughter that the friendship grew until we fell in love.
My son says that I should consider myself doubly lucky to have had two wonderful husbands that loved and supported us. That is true, but I feel like a punchbag and don’t know if I have the energy to do it all again. It is only 10 days for me.
I am so sorry for your loss and very sad for you that you have to go on this journey of grief again as it is a very difficult one and may be completely different this time. All you can do is take each hour as it comes and do whatever you feel is right for you at that moment. Take care and be kind to yourself​:hugs:
My ex husband age 56 died 3 months of a heart attack before my lovely husband age 65 did ! For me my ex husband was a lair a cheat , an alcoholic wife beater ! So for me his death was a relief ! But for my son he lost a Father and a step Dad within 3 months my sons birthday is June 20th just before Fathers Day !!how hideous is this going to be for him ?
I am so sorry… for this to happen twice is terrible, you know exactly what to expect which must make it so much harder, all that while you look after your daughter. I don’t think I’d ever want to go through this again. Please take care, sending hugs
Thank you. This is a horrible journey for everyone. What I do remember from the first time is that those waves of indescribable pain and anguish got a tiny bit smaller and slightly further apart as time went on. I never stopped loving my first husband even though I loved my second husband just as much. If that sounds unbelievable I can only compare it to having a second child in that you still love your firstborn just as much. I hope that everyone here, including myself, finds that their grief gets a bit more bearable. Or maybe we get better at avoiding the rabbit holes. Xx