10 more days and then it’s the first anniversary…It makes no difference 1 day, 1 month or 1 year. The lost, empty and numb feeling continues. It’s like being in a sadness bubble. It will be one year on 11th November…remembrance day! As if I will ever forget that fateful day. One year ago that knock at the door that everyone dreads…the police stood there to tell you that there’s been a terrible accident and your loved one sadly hasn’t made it. Lee was cycling to work, no different to any other day. He wasn’t far from from work when a container lorry collided with him and he was gone…No time to say goodbye, no last kiss, no last holding of his hand…He died instantly.
We were together nearly 9 years…engaged for 5 and plan to marry this year. Lee was the love of my life, my soul mate, my best friend. He showed me I could have a future after being stuck in an abusive marriage for far too many years. We were happy and had a wonderful future planned.
I’ve never experienced such pain. It was hard losing my parents but nothing like this. Most people don’t know what to say, so say nothing at all or keep their distance. Other’s say I should go to the doctor’s for antidepressants or I’m told get the 1st anniversary out of the way and you can move on. I’m not wallowing in my self pity…this is how things are now.
This is the first time I’ve posted on here and have been reading the posts and I think you guys are the only ones who truly understand
I am sorry about Lee. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly and I can’t believe it’s real. It’s nearly 12 weeks now and I don’t know how I have got through it and don’t know how to keep going. We were together just under 13 years and i fell so cheated - the future looks so bleak
I too am coming up to the first anniversary , 20 December ,and like you it was sudden . I share the pain, I keep waiting to be me again but I worry that me has gone for ever x
Thank you so much Jsg for replying I feel your pain. I also feel so cheated and nothing but a bleak future lies ahead. Just take one day at a time as 12 weeks is still very early days for you. For me…the tears still flow, and have days of very low mood. I’m not sure what is worse, having time to prepare losing our loved ones or suddenly cruelly being taken away…equally heartbreaking
Thank you Lesley8 for taking the time to reply I am so very sorry for your loss. It’s so hard isn’t it? One day you think you are doing okay and then another you are clearly not okay. I too, wonder if I will ever be me again. It must be incredibly difficult for you to lose your loved one so very close to Christmas. I have had plenty of very down days but leading up to the anniversary is an all time low. Sending hugs x
