I haven’t been here for ages. When I lost my husband of 30 years I used to drop in every so often . Early next month it will be 10 years since he died. I always get worse at this time of year. I have just turned 70 . I have totally failed at coping with loss maybe as I have no family and few friends We loved to travel and I have continued to do this although I hate that he is not with me . I still cry for him a lot . At the time of his death I was very seriously ill and was in danger of dying myself Since he died I have never dreamt about him and I wish I could just once. Life is hard and I still work more out of necessity than anything . My company is my little dog and I’m so glad I have him . As I grow older I do worry as I’m alone and health not so good . Everything in the world seems upside down. Looking at the posts from all of you I can see that grief is still so difficult to get through and there are so many going through this heartbreak. Wishing you all peace and that everyone can find comfort and hope for the future xxx
Hello @Bell,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
Hey @Bell
It’s been a long time since your husband passed but I can sense your love for him and how you still miss him.
It’s been 17 months since my husband died age 56 (im now 53) and we’d been married for 31 years.
I still struggle to believe he’s gone and I miss him every day. I find it hard to tolerate others and just want to be left alone a lot of the time. But I have 4 kids and the youngest is just 17 so I spend an awful lot of time supporting them. I’ve hardly started my grieving, as they’ve been my main focus.
I know in 10 years I will still feel the same
Pain from my loss and I wonder how I will get through the years to come carrying such a heavy burden.
It’s amazing that you have kept up the travelling and although he isn’t with you in person I’m sure he is in spirit.
It’s good you have a dog. Me too. They can be such a comfort and do make you get up as they need walked.
I hope your health stays steady and perhaps try reach out and try make new friends- although I know how hard that is to do.
Take care and if it helps keep posting on here.
Sending a huge hug 
Hi Bell, I read your post with interest as Its coming up to 7 years this Christmas since my husband Pete died and like you I have not managed to cope with the loss very well. I think I have tried every thing possible to manage the grief. Self help books, cds. 3 different councellors, one showed me a map of a motorway and told me to take another route off it, didn!t know whether to laugh or cry. In theory it sounded very simple… Joined a lovely choir for nearly a year and gave up on that as we were learning to sang the Lewis Capaldi song over and over again called every thing is popointless without you!!!
It sums up so well all the little every day thingsthat we miss about them like coffee in the morning, being given a card. goimg to a restaurant and on and on.
I do admire you for still travelling and for having your little dog. Just wanted to say hello and let you know that like you I still find it hard in this now upside down world. Love Jenny x