It’s 11 weeks since my husband died and if anything I’m feeling increasingly worse than I did in the first few weeks.
A few people have suggested that I should be feeling a little better by now and I really wish that was the case but it just isn’t. With each day that passes I miss him more because it is one day further on from having been with him and spoken to him. His death was sudden and unexpected and although I know in my head that he has gone and what happened is irreversible, I still find it so hard to come to terms with it. I’m also still full of regrets that I didn’t make different decisions the week of his death which would have kept him here.
Meanwhile I just have to keep getting through each day and hope that the pain and hopelessness will ease a little. 
@Minky67 11 weeks is such early days. You will still be in shock let alone feeling better. Those people who say you should be feeling better now really don’t understand what it’s like to lose a soulmate.
I lost my partner unexpectedly 23 weeks ago from a heart attack and I still find it hard to accept he’s gone.
It is such a rollercoaster of emotions. As the shock wears off I think the grief hits more making us feel worse. That feeling does settle and now I seem to flit between having good and bad days and on a bad day I try to look back to see how far I have come from day 1 which I find helps.
Just keep focusing on getting through one day at a time, don’t think too far ahead. I find thinking of the future is still too painful. Take care x
@Doughtyj I’m so sorry that you lost your husband too.
Thank you for your supportive words. I think that you’re right about the grief hitting more as the shock wears off. My husband suffered a cardiac arrest in front of me so it was a terrible shock. I know that it will all take time.
Thank you again. xx
That must have been awful. You’ll definitely still be in shock!!
My partner was alone at work when he died. I think that’s partly why I’m struggling to accept he’s gone. Part of me wants to think he’s just a work still.
Yes it will take time. One thing I have learnt is be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve. X
@Minky67 I agree with everything @Doughtyj says. I also lost my partner in january from a cardiac arrest. There was a time when the funeral was done and everyone backs off and you start to get clarity, it hits that they are not coming home, that support is gone and life alone is reality. Also the longer it goes on, the missing them gets worse.
However, having said that, 23 weeks in and things have got better for me, I go to work, I can go out and have fun, I laugh with the girls at work. Yes, I still have bad days, I embrace them and let them happen.
This site and making friends on here like @Doughtyj has been a god send. No one knows what you are going through unless they have been through it. Here on this forum we all get it. No nothing shocks us as we’ve either felt it, gone through or are dealing with it too.
Hope the days get better for you soon.
Thank you,@Ali29
It really helps when someone says that they have better days and gives those of us in the earlier stages of grief some reassurance and hope for the future.
I’m so glad for you that things have become better.