I am the same so lonely nothing to do anymore i miss both of us coming in from.work we would sit have a cup of tea together we both spoke about our day or we would call each other during the day now it is really really lonely and just full of emptiness i am crying still all the time i miss my beautiful wife so much
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I miss those calls too and the funny texts he would send me. I am consumed by how much everything has changed for the worse. I hope you start to cope better soon. I can empathise.
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I am the same i hate this loneliness and emptiness i walk about the house talking to her as if she is still hear i still.look for her and i know she not with me but i still look
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Grocery shopping for one is a nightmare. Trying to get a variety of food means a lot of waste. I’ve learned to buy one apple, banana, avocado, orange, potato, etc. at a time. There are so many things I no longer buy as they were things only my husband liked. Little pangs passing those items on the shelves.
It is what it is. 44 weeks tomorrow. My husband’s funeral was on my birthday, it was followed by Halloween, his birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Mardi Gras, our anniversary, Easter and July 4th. I survived them all by treating them as just days. Just days. All the firsts are over, except the one year anniversary of my husband’s death. That will be honored in Italy.
I’ve purged each room, closet, drawer, attic space, of excess. It is hard enough to keep up with everything by ourselves, so jettison the excess now and limit what you have to care for/store/move around periodically. Start with a kitchen drawer. You will be amazed how freeing it is to let the cluttered/useless/unused STUFF go.
Organize your space. Go through everything, it will ease your mind to know where everything is and the weight of STUFF will be off of your shoulders. I found 19 pairs of scissors! They are all in one spot now. They were bought because I couldn’t find scissors.
Keep what you need, use and wear. Toss damaged/broken/ill fitting/ worn-out things.
I had dinnerware for a seating of 24 and will never, ever have a huge dinner party again. Six artificial Christmas trees? They take up too much real estate to store. The “just in case” stuff. Let it go.
This will keep you busy, keep your mind occupied and give you a huge feeling of accomplishment.
Don’t leave it all for someone else to sort. Donate, donate, donate.
Just another tip on how to make it to 44 weeks.
I have more good days than bad. Don’t misunderstand, I miss my husband and wish he were here and healthy and we were going on our “adventures”. His absence is loud. His presence was louder. We had a great life together and I am so grateful to have been his wife for 24.6 years.
“I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but am honored that you spent the rest of yours with me.”
Love to you all. You are going to make it. I promise.
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Besides, you have to create your new life. Create it from the bottom up. Start with an organized, decluttered, home.
Five things at a time, five garbage bags filled, five shelves organized, five clothing items edited out.
It makes a HUGE difference.
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Im so sorry 
its very hard i lost my husband 4 years ago we was together 32 years since i was 17. Two children ages 33 and 32. Yea even although he hated my tv programmes he was sat there.
Take one day at a time .i worl full time but recently started voluntary work also
That has helped me in my journey
I done anything just for distraction
Take care x
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Exactly how I feel - been let down so much by ‘friends’ either patronising, condescending, ignoring or that dreaded ‘get on with your life’. They will only know when they get there! X
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Peaches, I need you and Lizzy to come round and sort out my house.
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@PeachesDixon
Very good advice, thank you.
I’ve got the supermarket shopping sorted, I have it delivered! Even though I have to pay for delivery, I save money by not impulse buying and the cost of the petrol in going to the supermarket.
I agree declutterring is very therapeutic. Sorting out paperwork alone is taking weeks but the space created is wonderful.
Other declutterring has mainly been my stuff so far, because I’ve hit a bit of a brick wall with my wife’s things. I’ve got to somehow convince myself that my wife’s things are no longer hers which will take time.
Thank you once again. You are absolutely right and it’s the only way forward.
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I will never get rid off my wifes things i lost my wife 10 weeks ago very suddenly and i am in shock i go into her wardrobe and i can still smell her it is upsetting but i just want to be close to her i just cant move anything when she was hear i would say are you going to move that now its .e saying no leave it i really miss her so much i just want her so much
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It’s very difficult isn’t it, almost impossible.
I will definitely be keeping the things I know she loved the most.
Thankfully I have my sister who will help me sort out the rest when I feel the time is right.
I stillnhave her trainers on the bottom stairs because that was the last thing she put down and i have her cup next to the kettle with mine i just cant touch nothing she like doing the diamond painting she has finished one and one started i haven’t even took the cards down yet i am really struggling andnits so hard when our on our own
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Love01 It is still early on for you, and you are probably still in shock. My Darling wife of 52 years left me in April 2024. I can after 15 months manage the grief better, I even enjoy some days, Yes I will always miss her and always love her but although my life will never be as good, it is getting to be livable You will learn to manage the grief better, it does take time. please look for something happy to remember, you must have had many happy times so get some of the happy memories to the front of your mind, Yes they will probably cause a silent tear, but hopefully you will be glad of what you had, not just grieving about what you have lost.
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We had so meny good memories but everytime i think of some i cry or look at her pictures or ring video footage i just miss her so much and what i would do just to be with again
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Love01, I was the same, but I have managed to keep the memories over the 15 months since Elizabeth left me, and now don’t cry as much, Sometimes they make me feel happy, because they happened.
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+1 Love01, that’s me as well.
Wherever possible things are exactly where she left them and, yes after 7 months, the cards are still up.
In fact I went one stage further. She had a favourite leather recliner chair which, to say the least, was a little the worse for wear. I was rather ashamed of it and planning to replace it until I found a company that sold leather furniture repair kits. It’s made an astonishing difference, not like new but perfectly presentable. I can now keep her chair and see her sitting in it.
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Hi I am.same.lost my solemate.in may and dont hink I will ever b3 able.to feel.normal.anymore
.We did evwrything together and like you say even sitting watching TV is hard as he is not sitting in next.chair , people keep saying remeber the 29 happy yewrs you had but I feel.cheared rhat we will neber grow old together and sont know how to continue without him , I just get up each day and think what can I do
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I know - it’s like half of you is missing. It does change over time, but the love and loss stay x
I am really struggling to accept that she is not with me i am crying all the time its so hard coming home a d leaving the house i constantly think about her all the time i just cant see a way for for me we fell in love feom the first time i seen her we where meant to grow old together i pray to god i said please just let me be with my wife i am not religious or anything but i just want to be with her
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Love01 I totally get where younare coming from…Came back from.hospital to find his packed lunch still in fridge that he had prepared for his work following day
I cannot even think of clearingnout his clothes but break my heart everytime I open wardrobe.
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