I break my heart every day it is so hard i miss her so so much i just want to be with her we where mea t to grow old together
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I lost my wife in may suddenly i ca t get over that
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Love01
I am.completly with you 9n this, I cannot believe one minute he was sitting beside me the next I am.a widow who cannot functiin without him, I always thought I was the strong one but I am.nothing without him…Life is so cruel and I feel angry and bitter that he was taken from us so early, we should have had years of memories to make, to watch his kids marry and have their own kids
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I completely agree i am the same i am angry shocked that we went back to the place where we got married had a lovely day together then it turned for the worst i am 10 weeks in i still cant get my head round it and i cant accept what has happened i am so frightened scard i have never felt pain like this in my life i walk about the house still talking to her i still look for her i just wish i can be with her now i dont want to be hear v
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Im so sorry for your loss its so hard when its a sudden or unexpected passing. Ibwas like yourself when my husband sadly passed away 4 years ago i couldnt go on i just wanted to join him didnt care that my children were suffering also i was to focused on my own grief 
try and look at something belonging to your wife maybe a book a poem a txt something thatll make you laugh/smile but nothing anyone can say helps the heartbreak that we are feeling. I honesty do not know how ive got to 4 years i guess ive just worked and kept going but i dont see anyone apart from my daughter and work colleagues
Take good care of yourself
Thank you so much it is so hard i have got so meny memories but i cry at when i see them i am just so scared at everything
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Love01
Everything you look at or touch will remind you as it does me I am.only hoping in yime I will smilr at these and not break my heart. For thr moment I am trying yo set myself something for each day to do and pick on different friend to call or visit as I cant yet bring myself to go to shops or back to work.
I dont have anyone i am alone no friends all it was my wife and i we did everything together my wife has 2 kids but they are older i am getting hassle from her daughter looking for things i have said before that i am not coping and not ready to do anything she never done nothing for us but i think it is disgusting that she things she getting something
Rjay, 44 weeks in and it is just now that I can leave the door to my husband’s closet open. Hunting and fishing gear, guitars, trophy mounts were easy. The clothes that he wore so handsomely, and which bring back the memories of the fancy things we did together are harder.
Early on I managed to give some things such as overcoats and leather jackets to friends and family as these were too nice to just hang in a closet when someone else will look good in them and enjoy wearing them. Things are to be used.
The tees/golf shirts, fishing shirts hold no moments in life and are ready for donation are now in bags. In the foyer. But, they are in bags. Ready.
In November, I sent 5 giant black bag plastic bags of jeans, sweat pants and shirts, socks, undershirts, tees, golf shirts to the charity collecting for the victims of a horrific flood, left stranded and living in tents on land that once held a house, in the cold rain! Horrible.
My suggestion is to start small when you are ready. Do socks? Bag up the socks. The good ones can be donated, the beat up ones need the bin. Then short sleeved tees. Then long sleeved tees. And so on. If it brings a great memory, keep it. If it doesn’t, let it go. It’s not an all or nothing thing.
I am becoming less attached to even the expensive haberdashery that is my husband’s closet. It takes time.
It took me 4 months to go through my husband’s office to find the things I needed. I had to have a shredder truck come to the house to dispose of the mountains of paperwork that was no longer relevant.
Then there is the barrage of new paperwork that only you can do. And we’ve already found ourselves in a fog. The brain is firing trying to keep track of everything.
Keep a notebook and write down all the “things I need to remember”. I started with bits of notepads and ended up with millions of little bits of paper with scribbled things on them. Consolidate.
It is important to know where everything is in your home. There is no one to ask and searching all over is just more anxiety on top of everything else.
I keep a tray for “my stuff”, keys, cash, credit cards, eyeglasses, lip gloss, etc., so at least it is all corralled and I know where it will be when I need it. It is a good habit when we can’t remember almost anything it seems.
It will be okay. Changing our whole lives is hard. Really hard. But, we do it because we have no choice.
I would not want for my husband to ever be where I am, I would hope his life would have continued on at full speed ahead. But, honestly, he would never find a pair of socks or anything on 3 of 4 refrigerator shelves and be sleeping with no sheets on the bed with cobwebs in the corners.
I am terrified of going overseas, but I am doing it. “Face the fear and conquer it” applies to all things, big and small. You’ll get it.
Love and hugs.
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Having a bad day been crying all day my head is everywhere i dont know what to do i am getting hassle from the step daughter i am soo scared i come home and lock my self away i have never been so frightened and confused in all my life i want to tell her home truth but dont want to come down to her leavel
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It’s understandable - everything - your daily lifestyle, your emotions and your health will have been thrown into disarray. Others just do not understand. Take time for yourself, cry as much as you want, rest and breathe- it’s awful but it will change. I talk to my hubby all the time - tell him how I’m missing him and love him. I tell him all the things people say - it really helps x
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Thank you so much i talk to my wife all the time i really miss her and i know she would be very angry with her daughter my wife never had the mother daughter bond her daughter done nothing for us she would never help it has been 10 weeks since my wife passed away very suddenly while we we t away for our wedding anniversary we arrived at our hotel on the 10th may our wedding anniversary was on the 11th we went back to the place where we got married we had a lovely day together everything so so nice uptill early evening when it to a turn my wife passed away with a pulmonary embolism i am so heartbroken trumma my stalemate my beautiful wife it is so hard for me i am really struggling with everything and 5 days after the funeral her daughter say we have to sort mums stuff ect i told her then i am not doing this she kicks off saying well its my mum but again she is selfish a d only ever thinks about herself then again threatening text then turned up at my door i have ignored her because 1 i am not ready 2 they is nothing for her if she thinks she is getting money they was no will as well who would expect what had happened she was only 50 and i an 50 to i cant deal with this and the house was only mine and my wifes home not a family home she has a brother but well he never been about and she is doing all the talking making out they both are saying but know thats rubbish i have to kids 2 but they are so grown up about how i am but the step daughter has not even asked how i am or how my kids are so what that tell you i am so scared frightened i cant see the next day or hour never mind the future i am sorry if i have went on but i have nobody to talk to or family i am just all alone in mine a d my wifes forever home full off our memories and dreams
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Just concentrate on you leavevthe step daughter to do what she wants. If it persists and you feel threatened tell her your calling the police
You will end up un well through all this just try and rest relax and breathe
Think of your happy times and get a few early nights
Take good care
Thank you so much i really appreciate any help i have never been so scared and frightened in all my life i am not coping atall with the loss of my wife i am getting counselling but i have had 3 sessions i have 1 tomorrow he can even see how heartbroken i am the step daughter needs to grow up she has not got a clue how i am yes she lost her mum but loosing a wife is worse its different i have lost my dad when i was 28 so i know what like it is and this is completely different me and my wife where all we ever needed was each other we did everything together we where stuck like glue and now she has gone i am in so much pain and hurt i am not sleeping right and i am living on toast my wife would say to you will end up turning into toast i can hear her say this but i know she would be very upset and angry with her daughter for what she is doing
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I understand i couldn’t cope after my husband passed. Didnt want to be here but 4 years on im doing much better im now on my day off volunteering at my local hospice where my husband was before he died. Im also lonley but i read i watch tv i go for walks i work full time also. Try and just occupy your self. Its tough 
grief is awful 
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I am the same dont want to be hear anymore i have said this more than once now
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She just been back at my door again i cant handle this carry on with her
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Just ignore her and concentrate on yourself
She will eventually get a clear message
Take care
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I am just ignoring her she thinks she is onto something i heard her say i know your in there 2 can play at that game on text said about she will get a solicitor i dont care she can if she wants but she cant come into my and my wifes home my wife would not be happy with her i jnow that for sure i am grieving and i have the trumma she dont know the half off what i am going through i just rambling on hear as i dont have any support
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@PeachesDixon
Thank you so much for your useful comments. I’m 33 weeks into this ghastly journey and clearly still have much to learn.
You mention brain fog and I’m definitely suffering from that. I was in the Post Office this afternoon trying to draw some cash and couldn’t understand why my debit card wouldn’t work until I realised I was using my credit card PIN, I’ve never done that before.
Your idea of a My Stuff Tray is brilliant, that will save me many frantic searches as I am trying to leave the house. I’m also going to get an Unpaid Bill Tray because yesterday I found that I had failed to pay two utility bills! I really do have to get a grip but good systems can protect me from a lot of my stupidity.
I think you are very brave going overseas but it will be a huge confidence builder. I could easily become a recluse, I hate going out, but when I have been somewhere it does improve my mood.
Thank you once again, you’ve boosted my confidence.
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