13 years and struggling to let go

Hi I lost my mum to cancer when I was 16 years old and lost my dad when I was 26 im now 29 years old and I just can’t let my mum go after all these years it isn’t getting easier and struggle to open up and talk about this been blocking it out since was 16 years old and now its even worse feels like its all over again . I was living with mum and step dad at time mum died in November and step dad found someone else in the december and told me I couldn’t live there anymore and kick me out at 16 i then found a place on council b&b on the 18th December but i can’t let that go either that someone could do that. Any suggestions on how you guys deal with greif
Thanks Andrew

Andrew, you have been through a terrible amount of tragedy in your life. To lose a mother at 16 is terrible, but to be then kicked out by your step dad a month later is unthinkable. Now that your dad has also gone, it is totally understandable just how difficult life must be for you.

I really think you could benefit from professional help. Sue Ryder offer online help, there is apparently a waiting list, but hopefully someone will be able to assist you soon.

In the meantinme, keep posting here whenever you need someone to listen to you.

Thank you for your comment i did see a Councillor but It didn’t work for me so I. Just trying new things.

It must be so frustrating that it did not work out with a counsellor. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was 13, on and off, and have seen many counsellors. Some have been really great, some I have really disliked seeing and have ended up causing me to feel more depressed and anxious, so it might be worth trying another counsellor, but only if you feel you are ready. In any case, there will always be people here to help you in whichever way they can.

Yeh it is abit frustrating but yeh I will try with a new Councillor as I cant really open up and talk to family either but I will see if I can talk to people on here going through the same thing might help me aswell.

Hello Andrew. I am so sorry for your suffering. 16 is such a young age to lose a parent and mum’s are so very special. Your mum would have been young herself and it’s so very sad that she didn’t get to see the man you were to become. My own mum died at the age of 85 and I miss her terribly. But 85 is much more acceptable, she was old and poorly with so many ailments. I can’t begin to imagine what you have gone through but I do know about grief. Oh yes, I know all about grief. I lost my husband 3 years ago.
I don’t know how you feel about writing Andrew. I write to my husband. You could write a letter to your mum and your dad. You could even write to your step dad if you still have some anger towards him. I always feel better for writing things down. It’s a way of offloading our feelings and frustrations. Honestly it does help. Worth a try although I appreciate writing isn’t for everyone but you’ve written on here so you know you can do it. I hope that just by posting on this site will give you some kind of comfort and understanding. To know you’re not alone can often be a huge help in itself. Take care Andrew. Sending love and hugs xx


Thank you for your kind words and yes she was 48 when she died so was quite young and yeh i could try that i never thought about that tbh but i suppose it is like your talking to someone but writing it all down instead.

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That’s exactly it Andrew. Many of us on this site keep a journal. In mine I chat to my husband, telling him everything. What I’ve been doing, who I’ve seen, how I miss him, love him. For me it’s a coping strategy and it works. Good luck :+1: xx


Yeh i will try this thank you

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