Struggling tonight. My usual approach of breaking days down into blocks of time does work though that only gets me through the day. I am scared for he future without him and I am only 53 so I have a very long time ahead. I was also made redundant a few months after his death. I can cope with each day to a certain degree, but each day is Groundhog Day.
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Hi KMS,
5 and a half month in for me losing my Husband and im 59 so i totally understand the fear of a future without our loved ones. I too am taking one day at a time.Being made redundant must have been a blow too. Yes i feel like im in a bubble or in a parallel world to everyone else!
Weāre all here for.
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Hi @KMS and @Jane64, me too. Iām in my late 50ās and the thought of many years ahead being alone is frightening. I also lost my job just after my husband passed away earlier this year and totally understand how you feel. Some days I can hardly drag myself out of bedā¦ others I can get some stuff done, but yes, each day is a struggle to get through.
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Hello KMS, Jane64 and Lin 20. Thinking of you all. I am also fearful of the emptiness of a future without my husband of 45 years, who died suddenly this year. I wake in the middle of each night feeling anxious. He completed me and I feel lost without him. Having no one to share with and plan the future with is scary, sad and lonely. We miss them so much and just want things to go back to normal but know that they canāt. The heartache is so painful.
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KMS - I am sorry that your husband died. It is so hard to wrap oneās head around it all, isnāt it? 9 weeks for me and I am stumbling around in a fog, living hour by hour.
Please donāt take this the wrong way, I mean this with best intentions: do not think about the future without your husband. You are living it now and will live it, in person, in real time, for the remainder of your life. Why stress over it now? It will happen with or without anticipatory grief added to the mix.
We are surviving and life will turn into living again, whatever it looks like. We just wonāt know until we are there.
And, yes, it is just like Groundhog Day. We get it.
Much love.
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1y months since I lost my wife of 40 years at 59 to ruptured brain aneurysm, still feel in shock and world seems so empty, canāt believe its been that long, miss her like hell and will never be the same, I am still doing 1 day at a time
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16 months now
Iām so sorry Luke, that must have been awful for you. I had just over 36 years with my husband and I donāt know how Iām going to get through the rest of my life without him. I keep hoping itāll get easier, but at just over 7 months itās getting harder if anything. I hope you have support from family and friends to help you?
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That sounds a good idea, PeachesDixon , step by step, day by day because that is all we can do. I am 6 months in and some days I almost feel ānormalā then other days the grief slaps me in the face and I have a dreadful day. The bad days are becoming fewer but the empty hollow is always there and I think it always will be it is just easier to manage some days.
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I know exactly what you mean by āthe empty hollowā
I think the enormity of what has happened is only just beginning to sink in for me, 6 and a half months on. Though I have some ok days Iām having more prolonged times of crying .
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My husband drowned on holiday in Oct 23. I as alone there with him. I found out about 10 days later that he was having an affair for at least the last four years. My grief just keeps getting worse . All the things I loved have gone. All land mark events . Christmas, Easter , birthdays holidays are horrible. I hate weekends. Last Christmas the first alone I wrote my Christmas cards it was heartbreaking just putting my name so Iām not doing them this year. My daughter has turned on me because she canāt bear to think of her dad as a bad person. My son understands my pain and how I cant just shrug off my husband affair but he canāt bear to see me upset so I canāt discuss anything with him and have to pretend to be ok . I often struggle to cope . Last week I could not stop crying so I called the Samaritans . The lady I spoke to was amazing l felt so much better after speaking to her. I just needed to let it all out . I will probably have to do this again and again whilst processing this grief. But it helped me so much to speak to someone who was impartial, who I knew I wouldnāt be hurt by me saying exactly how I felt. The Samaritans arenāt only there for suicidal thoughts they are there to help anyone who is in distress .
Iām just putting this comment on here to let everyone know that if you feel desperate and alone you can reach out and talk it really does help.
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