Thank you for your brave and tender telling of your story, I’m new to grief but will try to take comfort from you, thank you 
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Sorry to hear you’re new to grief. We’re here if you need to talk.
Thank you I’m so up and down I just feel so lost and drained of energy, it’s like being in prison, I completely without motivation 
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Hello I have just joined this special community and your post resonated wholeheartedly with how I feel about my partner and our special relationship.
It’s over 3 years since I lost him and I still miss him immensely but I’m carrying on and have just arranged to go away with friends for a short break. The first without him. I’m sure he would be happy and saying well done.
It’s good to know I’m not alone in how I’m feeling.
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God thats very moving Rachael, in tears reading it, it just gone 6 months since I lost some one I loved, they wee taken very suddenly, we never lived together, but the loved between us was there, I’m finding hard at times, I miss her lots, and still cry over her loss, we were both in our 50s, she got an illness and died, it broke me in 2, there was times I just wanted to be with her, after she had died I did not see a reason for me going on, but in time I came out of that mind set, to have a loved one taken so early in life is heart-breaking, ie 30’s -40s 50’s, your right when you say, you just feel numb, with the pain of the loss, it like this is not reall, this can’t be happening, it a bad night-mare, I know I will love her till the day I die, she will stay in my heart, even thought I’m only in my mid 50s, I must try to love and give again, but still not forgeting her and my love for her, which at times can happen, I let my grief for her loss, to bring me closer to her in sprit, that I talk to her, and light a candle on the day she died every month since, it my way of keeping my love and memory of her alive. from Desmond
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Hi @Abby-Lofts24 I’m truly sorry you are part of this club that nobody ever wants to join, but I am glad that you find yourself here amongst people who understand.
Whether we are at an early stage of grief, or like you 3 years since you lost your love, we all have ways to cope and things we can share with this community with the hope that in some small way we can help and show people that there is a way to live alongside our loss - even when it breaks our heart everyday not to have our person with us.
It is a massive step for you in arranging to go away with friends. I know your love would be proud of you for doing so, and would only ever want the best for you and for you to find moments of joy in life.
You are not alone xx Rachael
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Hi @Desmond I am so very sorry that you too find yourself on this forum, but commend you for your strength in joining when your grief is still at such an early stage.
I am now 16 months into this grief journey and for me it is still so hard at times, I miss him so much and cry each day. I am honoured to have known such deep love and I know I will love Chris until the day I die.
Each day I find the strength to carry on and am still on a journey to become a better version of myself, to live a life in honour of the love we shared, and I hope that by sharing my grief and emotions that I can show others in our situation that there is light amongst the darkness, that we keep fighting however difficult it is some days.
For now I carry on, living for each day as tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Love and light to you - Rachael
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@Ferret8 Thank you for your post and I commend you for the courage you have shown in managing to take a trip, stay in a hotel and more importantly finding things which make you laugh.
Yes there are really bad days, but in amongst the deep sadness somehow we have the strength to keep going and not feel guilty when we have OK days.
Peace and light to you - Rachael
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Pixieca
Yes I feel like you at the moment. Physically I improved after being ill but mentally not in good place. No motivation either really .
Trying to fight it.
Iloveho
Yes grandchildren life saver. Didn’t see them in half term so
was moping about.
They lovely
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Yea as I said it just over 6 months since her loss, she made such an impact on my life, that knowing shes not her any more is tearing me in 2, we were so close at times, it a love I never really saw coming, it just happen, over time, so the loss of her is very hard indeed, when your not looking to love some one and then they turn up and it slowly happens, it can take time to get your head around it, as we did not live together, we still kept a deal of freedom, between us, but now i was say hand on heart I would give up all my freedom just to have her alive again, and thats why I think her loss has hit me so hard, when a person you love dies, they take over half of you with them, and your never the same person again, its like your heart has been cut out and all that your left with is you brain, I think with a big loss, you change you out look on life, and its not for the better too. thxs for your reply, from Desmond.
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Hi . Well as I have said on this site before . I’m off to Vietnam on the 6th of March then Arizona and Wyoming in May somewhere my wife and I planned to go . But she didn’t make it . But she will be with me every step of the way . To say I’m apprehensive would be an under statement being on my own all be it with a tour but I’m doing it for both of us
Plus I refuse to exit this life / existence quietly . As we all know it can be cut short in the blink of an eye . But I’m still bricking it !! All the best to you all x
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And that’s the way she’d want to live and travel. Have a wonderful time. She’ll be there.
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Well done you, that’s a brave step, enjoy your trip knowing your wife is with you 
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Hi Jeff007 have a great time how amazing as I was told if you’d made plans with your loved one then go ahead with the plans it’s hard but I wish you well take care
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Thak you all so much for very kind words And support . Its nice to know there are still some kind and thoughtful people in this world . I wish i could make it better for us all . All the best !! X
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Im sorry for your loss . I
Have lite a candle for my darling girl evey night for the last 2 years . To celebrate her life not to mark her death. She was a career nurse and a care giver her hole life as well as an incredible human being and wife and mother x
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I still have one of our cats. He’s nearly 15 and I am starting to worry what will happen when he goes. He’s been great for encouraging me to get up in the morning and at least walk around the garden.
Perhaps having another dog would help if you can build the right relationship with them.
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Hope your trip turns out well. The furthest I’ve managed to go is Sheffield.
Thank you. It has been hard recently as a work colleague died and then a friend’s husband. It kind of opens old wounds and I find myself not sleeping properly again.
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