You are still going and that’s a big step in itself. Once there you have the security/comfort of your son and his girlfriend being there so hopefully it will help you take those bigger steps. It’s also good that it is somewhere new that you haven’t been before. Anywhere I went with Jim brings back too many sad memories now for me, so I want to try new places and make new memories that aren’t full of sadness and nostalgia
@Arvia , Ive found music! I joined a couple of ukulele bands, and (dis)organise a lovely chaotic jamming session. Made loads of pals to boot.
Just 3 weeks ago, I joined a 4 part harmony choir, as they were short of tenors. Im having a tremendous time with them
I have acquired the instrument collecting syndrome, with 3 ukes. 2 guitars, a dobro and a mandolin. I think I will soon need a bigger house.
You’re right. Alan was ex navy and loved cruises ( we came back from one just 2 days before he died). Originally I was booked into ‘our’ cabin ( well similar style anyway) but I’ve altered that so it will feel different. Mine rather than ours. We had another cruise booked to the canaries in November. Our wedding was booked on that one. I’m still going (with my son) and we plan to give the ashes to the sea on would have been our wedding day. That will be very very hard but I’m absolutely sure that Alan would approve. We can listen to the music we had planned and have flowers in the cabin (suite actually for that one; very posh!). I think I will book some nice spa treatments as well. We’ll see. X
OMG that’s fabulous! You are a superstar! Saw a ukulele band ( ‘ukebox’ ) recently. They were amazing. Good luck with everything you’re doing; see you on Britains Got Talent!x
It’s funny because I feel it would be easier if I was older. I feel robbed of the time we could have spent together and that he won’t see the children grow up or get jobs etc. I never want anyone else and I could have 40 years of loneliness ahead. I also realise it must be terrible when you spent your whole life with someone
I have to say, even though my husband is 64, we’ve only been married 14 years. So, I feel the same. We retired early due to his illness and had so many plans. We never got to do the big things, like visiting far flung parts of the world that we’d always wanted to visitto celebrate our retirement because of the Pandemic. Now we can’t because of his prognosis. We plan to visit places in the UK instead.
Hi @tykey,
Three suggestions come to mind:
See a volcanic eruption
See a total eclipse of the sun
See the Southern Lights (a bit more adventurous than the Northern Lights)
Best wishes!
Hi @Arvia
Just have to say I have seen Ukebox twice, love them - they are amazing. Saw them at a Warners hotel last year and saw they were back there in January, so booked again to see them.
I have told loads of people about them, but never heard of anyone else who has seen them.
Already looking for them again at Warners so we can go and see them again.
Alison xxx
@Ilovehorses
Wow you got to see both that’s awesome. I know friends who travelled a far to see the Northern lights but it never happened and they were so disappointed. It’s pure luck I hear.
I would love to have a go at tobogganing but knowing my luck I would break something lol
I did many cruises before I had Sammy (my dog) so then holidayed in the UK for the past 15yrs so he could be with us. Sammy sadly passed away age 15, 5 mths ago and my friend said you need a holiday as in addition to Jim and Sam, I also lost my mum last year so was desperate for a break but part of the reason to go back to a cruise is if in the future I have noone to go away with it will build up my confidence to do a cruise on my own.
The Orient Express I think will remain a dream unless I win the lottery lol
Wow! The Lakes are my 2nd home and in the 30+ years I have been going never seen them. Thanks for sharing and lucky you
I’m so sorry to read this. Do what you can, when you can. Support is always here for you.
@Ilovehorses
So sorry for your multiple losses too, losing Sam was a totally different heartbreak, he was all I had left of a family. It broke me to be honest but I gave him a wonderful life which so many dogs don’t get to have so I keep focusing on the positives.
This is why I am going to see how this cruise goes to see if it’s a possibility to do it alone. I am lucky I have several wonderful friends but there may come a time where I can’t depend on them for holidays so have to look at alternative options.
Hiring a campervan sounds a great idea especially with your pup as you won’t have any restrictions on you both x
Thank you lovely, I’m okay and slowly turning a corner but always good to hear there is support
When I got to 15 months, I realised I was going to survive and thrive. I was extremely fortunate that during the difficult times, I had many people caring for me, including 6 who went the extra mile (plus my two dogs!!) . I called them my Rainy Day People! I decided to brave and make my new life as good as I could possibly manage. I explained I had to do it my own, but wanted to continue their friendship with me, and help if my wheels fell off. They have been superb at that as well.
To mark the event I took them all out for a tapas lunch, and did a little speech. I knew it was going to be more difficult managing on my own, but I’ve got used to it.
PS I called them my Rainy Day People because of this song, and I play and sing it to them whenever I can.
Hi your post gives me hope right now,I am only five weeks into this awful place I find myself in, everything you have said is me right now
@Ruby12 I’m sorry your person has died. I wish there were words that would ease the pain you are feeling - all I can offer is kindness and support.
You are very brave indeed to have joined this forum only 5 weeks into your grief. At this stage just focus on the essentials such as eating small amounts, sleep when you can and breathe. Take each day at a time, minute by minute if necessary. Do not feel pressured into doing anything which doesn’t feel right for you.
When you feel able, please share more about your loved one and also how you are managing day by day.
Sending you thoughts of peace xx Rachael
@Ruby12 , Rachael has it right. These early days just need enduring. Impossible though it seems at the moment, things will begin to settle down but it takes quite a long time. Hang on, by your fingertips if necessary, but try to get some structure in your life as you get stronger.
Oh Rachael - I was so moved by your thoughts and feelings, which in so many ways echoed my own. The difference for me is that I was in my late 70’s when my husband suddenly died after 50 years of marriage. And, as a result I developed a chronic case of osteoporosis and spinal fractures. I had mild osteopenia before but the shock of loosing my hubby plus all the extra duties of keeping the house, dog and cats going made it worsen. I also don’t drive so all these things made my life close down. However, I love and agree with your optimism in the midst of sadness. You never loose the grief, it stays close to you as do your loved ones, but I try to walk each day, sit in the sun, eat well and see friends often. Just one foot at a time is all we can do. Ruthxx