16 yo daughter died

Losing a child
1

I lost my girl suddenly 7 weeks ago. We only just had her funeral last week, 6 weeks to the day. It was packed. I miss her so much - mainly I miss her future that’s been snuffed out like a flame. Her GCSEs, her prom, her plans for the future. Just gone. She was 25% of us but now we’re thirds

5 Likes
2

Hello @Emeljay,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

You might want to also look into: The Compassionate Friends who support families who have lost a child of any age. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

3

I’m soo sorry for your loss. Nothing prepares you for the enormity if losing a child. As parents we look after them and care for them their whole lives. I lost my daughter aged 27 a year ago. All I can say is try be kind to urself. It’s one of the most painful things u could go through. I spent months not being able to cope. Waking up lost every day crying every day. I got tired of being sad every day but there is nothing u can do. Everyone’s grief and reaction is different and it changes. There will be days when u are angry and hurt and times when u r thankful if the times u had. Sometimes all at once. Don’t pressurise urself into doing anything ur not ready for or people’s judgements. Sending u lots of love

3 Likes
4

Thank you so much - it’s still such early days and I’m taking it a step at a time. The time up to the funeral was like being in a bubble with all the plans and arrangements and people checking in and sending cards and flowers as a distraction. Now we are on the other side of it and I feel untethered with just the wide open future ahead. Trying to take those shaky steps not knowing what it’s all going to look like, we’re trying to find our new normal. Today my husband and I have felt flat and sad as lots of silly little things are reminding us of her x

2 Likes
5

Nothing that reminds u of her is silly. It’s memories and that’s all we have. When someone dies we have soo much to do. We have preparations to make and people r there to ask how we r. Sometimes it’s like we r on auto pilot. Then times will come when u gave no energy and it’s all too much. Sometimes I would have bad days and all I wanted was to run away and hide just didn’t have the motivation to do anything. Allow urself those days. Try to have people round u who u can open up to. Some people like to talk about their loved ones others might not. It’s a rollercoaster.

2 Likes
6

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. My daughter, Natalie, died in January aged 16, very unexpectedly. Reading your post was like I had written it myself. I can’t get over that she didn’t get to finish school, go to prom and even take her GCSEs. She was so looking forward to life after school and it just feels so unfair. We were so close and I know I haven’t really started processing her loss yet.

Please feel free to message me if you would like to talk more. X

1 Like
7

I’m soo sorry for your loss
Losing them when they r young is soo hard. They should be here living the life they just started. I would happily change places with my girl. I miss her soo much. Every time photos pop up I’m in tears. It’s a burden we have no choice but to bear. We wasted soo much time arguing about silly things when all I want us is to see hear and hug her. I spent 20 years looking after her now I feel lost.

8

I’m sooo sorry for your loss
I lost my daughter just over a year ago
I thought I was doing ok and then a photo of her just popped up in my phone and now I’m a mess
It’s extra hard when they r young
Soo much they had to look forward to
I have other children but they aren’t her
I cared for her for over 20 yrs battling cancer and now I’m lost
She was my world now I have soo much time I don’t know what to do
I’m constantly battling but I guess we have no choice but to carry on

9

Yes it’s really so very difficult with reminders everywhere. I only have to hear a song or catch sight of something of hers around the house and I’m in pieces again.

Just clearing the kitchen and have found a whole load of mugs with her initial - which oddly is often hard to find so when I saw things with an O I would buy them. She never really used them and before she died, I was going to throw them out/donate them. But I can’t bring myself to get rid of them now and will have to find a way to repurpose them.

We can’t prepare ourselves for these random every day things that take the legs out from under us. We can just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on. A day at a time is a cliche but I’m finding it’s very true. Xx

2 Likes