Hi, I lost my mum and my aunt within 6 days of each other in Sept 2022. I was mums sole carer for 5 years and she lived with me, and my aunt was looked after by carers but i dealt with her finances and anything else that was needed. My mum and my aunt were twins so my aunt was like my second mum. 17 months on i am still not coping. Their loss has been so huge and has affected me both mentally and physically. I am still struggling to get through the days and just keep breaking down in tears. I was offered counselling by the hospice back in early 2023 which i accepted, and re started counselling a few weeks ago but nothing seems to be helping. I am self employed and am working and trying to keep myself as busy as i can outside of working as when i stop and have too much time to think it makes me worse, but i am still so overcome with grief and just want them both back. My sister has really not been affected, only crying when they died and at the funeral, and although i realise no 2 people grieve the same and i shouldn’t compare myself to her i thought after 17 months i would be feeling a bit better. Thank you for reading and if anyone has or does feel like this and has any advice to share i would be grateful. Thanks
So sorry for both your losses. As you say, everyone grieves differently, and you lived with your mum and cared for her, so it isn’t strange at all that your grief isn’t the same as your sister’s. When I lost my mum, I cried every day for two years. Just so you know you’re not alone in struggling for a long time. But maybe it would help to seek out another kind of counselling? I talked to one specialised in trauma back then and that was what worked, as the loss was like a trauma for me. And it sounds like it was for you too, especially since you lost them so close together. Unfortunately, I had to go privately for that, but I don’t think I would have coped otherwise. Wishing you the best. 
I am currently having CBT to help with PTSD which my GP diagnosed me with recently but it doesnt really seem to be helping even though i have had 6 sessions so far.
Yeah, that’s what they do, refer you to CBT. Probably because it’s supposed to be a quick fix. It never helped me either. The therapist I eventually went to had a more holistic approach, but focused on trauma.