Hi all. I sometimes feel like I am going backwards. I seem to be having more sad weepy days than I did weeks ago. Anyone feeling the same??
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Yes.
First two weeks after my partner passed away I was busy with everything so I was pretty numb and in shock.
But now I feel the same. You’re not alone. We all probably feel the same x
Some days are ok but many I just cry and feel lost.
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I feel the grief so much harder at 8 months, than I did at 6 months. I didn’t think that could be possible.
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I am also finding it harder and I am almost 13 months on my journey. I finally bit the bullet today and went to see my GP. I have known him 23 years, he knows our young adults for their whole lives and he knew my husband very well too!! I have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD, prescribed Lorazapam and he has referred me to Trauma Focused CBT and EDMR therapy. I’m hoping it helps.
17 weeks and 8 months is no time at all, although it seems like forever. Be kind to yourself. I should have reached out sooner to my GP but I cannot change the past. You will go through every emotion and nothing will make sense, but you will find your way. Sending love and strength to all x
@To All
I think it’s some type of a delayed shock. We all experiance it but at different times obviously because we e are all different. It can be early doors or later. What I think defines it is what and everything you have to sort out befyhand. You go into a different realm. Wanting and trying to sort everything out so it’s all perfect. X
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Thank You. Your GP sounds amazing. I hope you get all the help you need. X
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6 months for me and I am devastated still
He is pretty amazing to be fair. My appointment was originally in the morning but I had a meltdown and I couldn’t manage to leave the house. He rearranged it for 16:45 and he made sure I was his last patient so the surgery was empty and he said he would stay as long as I needed him. On leaving he did advise that this will be a long and difficult journey but to count the day as my first day on my journey to recovery. I actually managed 5 hours sleep for the first time since that life altering day. Sending love and strength x
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I think I coped better when my husband died , in shock, numb etc. I never was someone to cry, now I can’t seem to stop. I set myself things to do each day, today I’m in bits and hoping tomorrow I can try and get into some sort of routine again. Just need this hell to end.
I completely feel you on that. In the beginning it doesn’t feel real. I also make lists and I cry everyday, on most days I cry multiple times. I don’t wish to stay in this hell either. Like you, I never was a person who cried, now I can’t stop, they pop out everywhere without notice. I’m still taking baby steps, I don’t have a choice, I become very quickly overwhelmed. Big hugs for you Patsy219. Id love to be able to tell you 'It Gets Better/Easier. But I don’t know. I’ve never felt pain like it, nor have I ever felt so alone or useless.
Thank you JD. Your right, the pain is so awful, the crying has turned to sobbing now. Another very lonely day. I can’t motivate myself to do anything. I will force myself to go for walk this afternoon as I haven’t been out for days. Sending you love J D x
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@Patsy219
I can’t tell you how you will feel in a few days let alone weeks. What I do know is that at the moyibe got into a type of a plodding stage. I don’t know if it makes any sense? It’s a sort of numbness but still functional. Had a good weep yesterday was quite down but made sure I got out. You have to love. Even if it’s just round the block. Please try. Xx
Tenpin, I think I do know what you mean. I was preparing mentally to go for walk, guess what? It started to rain, I have an umbrella and a raincoat, just another excuse to stay in, pathetic. I will try again later if it stops! Meanwhile I’ve been sitting here crying, I must get a grip. I’m so sorry for your loss and know the pain you’re going through. Thank you for your kind words. X X
@Patsy219
I know how you’re feeling. Go out in the rain. Have a walk and breathing the fresh air will do you good.
Here anytime I can help. We’re in all this together. Xx
Tenpin, thank you again, I’m taking your advice and I’m going out. I’m going to wash my face in cold water ( blotchy from crying) aiming to go in half an hour. I’ll let you know when I’m back. Your words are so kind. XX
@Patsy219
You go girl. I’m with you. X
Oh Tenpin I did it, only out for about twenty five minutes. Didn’t meet a soul ( I live in very quiet area) that was ok . Weather not nice but good to get some air. I’ve got you to thank for the encouragement. I’ll try and do a bit more tomorrow. Then back to empty house. I think this forum keeps me sane. We’re all in the same situation, this awful unrelenting grief and sadness. Sending you a big hug. Xx
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@Patsy219
Your welcome love. Glad you did it. Sod the weather. Go tomorrow. And if you see someone force yourself to smile and say hello wether you feel like it or not. Small step but massive the way we are feeling. Xx Good luck. Xx
Its 48 weeks since Bill died and yes there are still many days when it feels like the first day of grieving all over again. There are also days when you feel almost normal, planning for things. Im hoping with time there will be more positive days. I will always grieve for Bill he was my one and only x i have to live for his memory.
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Hi,
I am sorry for your loss xx
One day I think we will learn how to live again.
For me it’s 6 weeks today and I don’t know what to do. I feel so confused. I don’t know if I am ready for anything. At the moment my days and nights are tearful, got headaches every day. So I am just taking day by day as every day I feel different x
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