17 years now

I lost my mum when I was 9 and I’m now 26. It was an upsetting time and of course I’ll never get over it but now I’m older I feel I have lots of unanswered questions about my mum and no way of finding out. I’m thinking of her more and I’m very emotional (I am right now) I feel like I have bottled up emotions for so long that they’re all flooding out now, I have searched for breavment councilling sessions and seen this so I thought I’d give it a go.
I know there isn’t a direct answer but I don’t know what to do, the worst is at night. I also think about her during the day and the loss I feel and I push it to one side but now I want to talk and let it all out, I hope there is someone there who wants to listen.

Hi StaceySheree,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear you lost your mum at such a young age, and that you’ve got a lot of unresolved emotions coming to the surface.

It’s true that bottling up emotions can make grief last longer, so it’s good that you’re looking for an outlet now. I hope it helps a little to be able to write things down here.

You say that you have no way to get answers to your questions about your mum - are there no other family members that you can talk to about her?

Here’s a link to a post by another user who went through something similar, after losing their mum 12 years ago, aged 10: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/complicated-grief-0#post-7153

That post is a few months old now, but I thought it might help to read how that person coped and to see that you aren’t alone in this.

Are you considering professional counselling as well? Some people find this a really helpful way to start to process everything that has happened. You can ask your GP to refer you to counselling.