Hi Lisa, I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your baby boy 17 years ago and that people have told you to get over it. There’s no set timeline on grief and many people say that the loss always stays with you.
Not having any support or anyone to talk to can be things that make grief worse or last longer, so I’m glad that you’ve found this site and I hope that it helps even a tiny bit to have this space to talk about your son. I hope that some of the other bereaved parents here will be along to reply to you shortly.
We also have a user called @Cambsbloke who also lost a baby 17 years ago: 17 yrs on the pain carries on
If your baby was stillborn or died shortly after birth, you can also get specialist support from Sands: https://www.sands.org.uk/support-you