I was visiting our son in the Netherlands when the police phoned to say my husband had been found dead in a garden he was working on. He was a gardener. We were together for 42 years and miss him every second of the day. We were very independent and I’m back in the Netherlands but it’s so different without my husband to chat to on the phone at the end of the day.
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Im so sorry for your loss, I lost my beloved husband 3 months ago, 23rd November 2024 to cancer.
I only had 4 weeks with him from the diagnosis, we had just celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary and 3 days later we found out.
I can’t imagine how you are going through especially when you couldn’t be with him, when you’ve been together for so long.
Im not much for advice as I’m struggling to go on myself but being on does help me.
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i wish there was a magic wand,i guess if there was this community page wouldnt be required,there are lots of different "titles"up and running under the heading for “loosing partner” i join in with a few that i feel relevant on the day,its just knowing we are not alone,and all our stories/emotions are so similar,as i call it,all in similar boats,sailing the same storm. it really has helped me "off load"without "bothering"family and friends,they are all “too close”. a stranger is the friend you have yet to meet,somebody said about this group. i hope you feel you cab do your chatting on here too good luck
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I find a comfort being on here, I can be honest on how im really feeling with everyone here.
I tell my 2 children, my brother and friends that im not ok but alright.
When in fact is im dying inside, I feel like ive been robbed of my beloved husband especially at the age of 50. I should have had 30 or 40 more years with him., and im not living im struggling without him and everyday im just existing.
Half of me is missing and im just waiting for the day I can be with him again, hopefully sooner rather than later. Ive got got this heavy weight on my chest which wont go away, ive not stopped crying since 3 months ago.
I feel like the light has gone out and the strong person I once was(he was my rock) has now gone.
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hello i am sorry you lost your partner it is a very hard time for you and early days i lost my husband of 47 years and been together 49 years last may and it is crap you miss them so much because that was your person your other half but we keep going because they were robbed of their lives so we try to live life for them even though it might not be the most exciting life but we do it for them you always feel sad and miss them so much but you do learn to live with it and talk to them every day helps so just do what you can because it is just one minute or one hour at a time
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your time together/marriage same as mine. its a lifetime of being "as one"isnt it. he told the oncologist he wanted to see golden wedding(2027),he didnt make his 80th(2025), ive done the shock,now its reality, i thinkim now having more good days than bad. today i feel quite invigorated,ive bought DIY stuff,ive started decorating,the sun shines,its all good therapy after the longest,darkest winter since he died in october. being on here helps,we can express ourselves without bothering family/friends. i hope it lasts,cant think about being that low again for sustained periods. i wish you well
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thank you for your reply best of luck decorating i have done this as well its good to have a project
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I didn’t think a site like this would help, but surprisingly it does. Although I have children, none local and great friends, it’s hard to explain how totally lost I feel all the time. Half of me is gone. I’m busy and laughing but something is missing all the time.
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Hi @Poppet1973 I could have written those words myself. The crushing emptiness is just awful, there is little joy, just existance.
decorating going well,good therapy… projects. my knees/hips are shouting “enough”,not much more to do tomorrow, feeling very pleased with myself. of course the sun shine helps
im quite amazed from the help its given me, helps me see the wood for the trees,
hi i find having a project helps i bought a new wooden bedframe for the spare room but picked a brown frame did not look good so painted frame took me three weeks but pleased with result my son is going to paper room for me and as much as i love him his papering isnt very good but what can you do hope you are doing okay in the circumstances
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