19 weeks today

It’s 19 weeks today since I lost the love of my life. I miss him so much.

Alan, time passes but not one day goes by that you are not here in my heart
The day you died was not just a date on a calendar, it was the day when my very existence changed forever.


On my calendar I just simply put - Life stopped. (Mine as well as his)


I feel like I’m not living. I’m just existing.

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Yes - I’m existing for the sake of my children

The loss we feel when our loved one dies is not the worse feeling in the world, Missing them for the rest of our lives is the worst.


I am 11 weeks into this awful journey - I miss him every second of every day. I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends, but I am so lonely without him :broken_heart:

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Same here CeeJay - my husband died suddenly at the age of 50. My friends and family are great as well. Unfortunately it doesn’t take away the emptiness and yearning to just hold him again.

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So sorry for your loss Ceejay, and yes it’s an awful journey we are going though.
You just don’t realise how lonely you are until it’s the end of the day and you have things to talk about but he’s not there to tell them to.

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@sad2 @Jules4 I’m so sorry that you are both on this path too. I just can’t envisage the future without my husband - we had so many plans now that the children had flown the nest - he has been robbed of so much, as have I.

@Jules4 my husband died suddenly too (aged 57) - no prior sign of illness - I’m finding it so difficult to come to terms with.

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Yes, we were finally planning things for just the two of us and having it snatched away hurts so much. He deserved to enjoy the things we were planning and I can’t enjoy them without him so everything we worked for has gone.

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It’s so heartbreaking and so unfair

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The saddest thing is when you’re feeling down, you look around and realise there’s no shoulder for you. How cruel and unkind life can be.

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A lovely little poem to share.

On Angel’s wings you were taken away but in my heart you will always stay.
I will hear your whisper in the tallest trees, feel your love in the gentle breeze.
And when I find I miss you the most, inside our beautiful memories I will hold you close.
You are an Angel watching over me with the comfort and blessings you bring.
You embrace my heart and hold it close, forever on Angel’s wings.

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That’s beautiful - thank you x

Lovely poem x
Life’s unfair it really is. I miss my Marti so much he was my world, he’s on my mind 24/7, can’t cope without him, every day is so painful and hard to face. Even having families support I still feel lost and lonely without him.
Our loved one was our bestest friend, lover, supporter, the one we wanted to be with forever. We try, try so hard to keep going but what for, the main person who kept me going and feeling happy every day was my Marti.
I always think of everyone on here and it stops me from just wanting to end it all because I’m not the only one with this pain, we are here for each other, no one else understands our pain, they really don’t,
Take care and remember I always think about you all
Amy x


It’s another day I wake up without him beside me, just another day of trying to get by, another day I have to go without seeing his smiling face and his laughing eyes, another day I feel so empty inside. I wish I could tell him how much I need him and how hard every day is without him. He’s all I think about every minute of the day. I miss him so much.

“Sad are the hearts that loved you, sad are the tears that fall. But living our lives without you is the hardest part of all”

I just hugged you all in my thoughts. Hope you felt the squeeze.
Take care xx

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Every day is so hard to face isn’t it? How do we keep doing this?

Today is just another day of trying to get by without him. Time changes nothing, I miss him as much today as I did the day he died. It’s just non stop tears and I wonder when it will get easier, if ever.

Hi ,Sadie I echo your words. Every day I wake up with a heavy heart. I manage to get into some kind of routine, because that it all it is now Routine!
Nothing brings me satisfaction or joy. I look at everything with the feeling that if Ronnie were back then it would all be back to normal. I don’t enjoy shopping anymore.because Ronnie wouldn’t be there.
June’s I wrote the same on my calendar. Not the day he died but the day I found he had been given results of his scan by accident and it read ‘suspected pancreatic carcinoma.’ That was the end of my old life. It was 24th May 2017 at 5.20pm.

Jules I called you June in error. Just wanted you to know that the last part of my post was for you.