Thank you Louise. I’m trying to take your advice and just be. I’m just consumed by pain at the moment. There is no relief. We have decided not to drink any alcohol as we know it’s a slippery slope but I just wish something would take the pain away. I hope in time it fades a little. Xxx
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I agree with you and believe I will see my beautiful girl again one day. Grief is so hard. Sadly I long for my life to end now, something I’ve never wanted before. I don’t know how to live anymore but somehow I have to for my husband and disabled son. Xx
Thank you Christine. Is it getting any easier? I try to rate the days from 1-10 with regards to how painful they are. At the moment the scores are high but some days are slightly lower than others due to family and friends helping. I have to believe it will get easier xx
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Hello Sam,
I’m sorry that you have had such a painful day. Some people find that after the funeral of their loved one, some sort of line has been drawn that signifies an ending and acceptance of their loss. Others do not, and have to process their grief and disbelief in other ways and over time, until they accept that their loved one will not return. And it does take time and cannot be rushed, nor can the rest of the journey through your grief. As for being with your daughter, well, I too wanted to leave this world to be with my husband on several occasions. But the will to live is very strong, and it’s spark will fight hard to remain. In my case, as the days marched on, and I found myself having less bad days and more getter days, my will to go on became stronger and it’s spark became a flame. The loss of your daughter will bring about great change in your family unit and in your life, but I am certain that, with courage and self compassion, you wiĺl embrace these changes. It will be a long and hard road, but hang on in there and breathe deeply through your pain - it really does help. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. You are ok. The what it’s are just illusions in your mind, they do not represent your future or padpst, they do not foretell what would or could have happened. Take care my friend. Jayne xxx
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Thank you Jayne. Your lovely words give me hope - something I desperately need right now. Xx
Well, if you’re leaving the booze alone at this time, Sam, you’re a better person than me. I did hit it a bit hard - not because I was trying to escape the pain, but because by evening, I’d had enough of it, and whiskey did work to plane the sharp corners off for awhile. I don’t see anything wrong with kicking back with a couple of drinks now and then, as long as it doesn’t become every day.
This will become different, Sam. Your grief will evolve. For now, you are where you’re at, as hellish as that feels…just give yourself time xo
Thank you. X My fear is that I will rely on the booze to get me through this and start to need it rather than want it but I totally get where you’re coming from. Xx
I’ve coped for the last few days by pushing the whole thing out of my mind. I feel incredibly guilty for doing this though. It’s like I’m pushing my beautiful girl away. I just can’t cope when I think of her it hurts so much