1am in the morning and I wandering around an empty house everything is so still I feel that way to a stillness like everything’s stopt I’m standing still in the world it’s at these moments I can almost step back in to what was wons my life but not quite it’s at these times I can almost believe that nothing has changed and he is still there beside me I no this is just the night playing tricks on me and the reality will soon kick in it will soon be 12 months for me next month will mark that miles stone one I never thought I would see but still the night draws me in to that past I so miss that life I wons had. thank you all for being there

hi cj13
lots of us needed extra help,To find ways to deal with the emotional turmoil and heartbreak.
Luckily whilst seeking that ,We found this wonderful site,Full of people who over time found ways to handle this devastating time in their lives.And so many of these lovely people put their own heartache to one side and offer a bit of comfort and love to those who have also found the need to reach out and find this site. We wish we didn’t need to join in the first place.Like you and so many others ,im surprised and shocked im still alive,As my greatest desire is to be with Jayne.But from some where we have found inner strength to actually get to were we are now.Id say you and several people have been lucky enough to of found that very special person to share our lives with,And its because we loved them so much,That we find ourselves being so heartbroken and emotional most of the time.
Sorry for droning on,Hopefully you will continue to find that inner strength to carry on.


How are you 1am and cj13

It is exactly as uou have described it. I am feeling exactly the same. Sometimes i hesitate and i am drinking
It did not happen theb i go over the important days when he was sick and the last day he was at home.
Reallity hit and sadness embrace my heart, nights seem to be longer than day time, difficult to get to sleep,
Try to sleep, maybe with time we learn to sleep again.

Devi, how are you? You have so much to cope with, especially with lockdown and your own family being so far away.
I feel the same as you. Sleep is so important and I have had so many sleepless nights, or nights when I sleep and then wake up at 2am. I take a sleeping pill sometimes.
Please try to be kind to yourself. It’s all so hard to believe at first. Sometimes, I get a moment’s peace from imagining my husband is still here.
Christie xxx

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Thanks Christie for you replay
To be candid i to feel alone totally alone. Talk in the phone but it is not the same to talk with someone.
I have tried to talk to friend but i think i am losing them or they losing me. I am very disappointed of my so called friends now hardly anybody call me
I have tried to call them but most of them are busy with their lifes and don’t answer the phone., whdn they do answered it is gor short time.
nights are continuously full of memories hard and dreadful to go through.

Hope you are taking care of yourself eat and drink it is good you are trying to,


Hi everyone I think we are all like this it’s being with someone shering all those things with someone else and now we have no one the silly things that make us laugh we all are missing that. Being able to share ower through wishes to say anything we wanted to someone and not be judged having that person in ower corner. The night drag on for ever now but that sed we have each other not the same but we are all going through similar trying to find ower way. Love and hugs CJ13