1st Anniversary of mums death

Hello , it will be the 1st anniversary of mums passing on the 31st October, I’ve been really struggling last week or so , just wanted to know if this is normal , I thought I’d been coping quite well but i just feel so sad and tearful like I did when it first happened, got dads 1st Anniversary as well on the 30th December and both their birthdays coming up in the next two weeks , just feeling overwhelmed by it all , I took out a funeral cover plan the other day so my boys don’t struggle when it happens , im in no way suicidal but that makes me sad to know that one day they will feel this sadness as I am feeling now with my parents I have so many questions and no answers , I suppose it’s a normal reaction to feel like this , it’s so very very hard I miss them both so much .

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Hi @Trish1971 I’m so sorry - I empathise with what you say about struggling, and about having so many questions and no answers. My mum died in February, it still feels so raw and unbearable, and since she died I have also been grieving for my dad all over again. I feel so much sadness, I cry a lot - like right now - and I’ve just been thinking what do I do with all the memories only my mum and dad shared with me? I have siblings but they are younger and don’t remember many of the things that I do, and I only ever talked to mum about them, especially after dad died because we shared them together then - we remembered for each other. Now there is only me who remembers…

I think anniversaries are always so tricky because maybe we don’t know how we might feel until the day itself. I felt like that about Mother’s Day - she died just before it this year - and her birthday. Until I was there I could only imagine what I would feel like or want to do. I made a plan and kept it open in case on the day I didn’t feel like doing anything.

There are no rules for how we do any of this - we can only do what feels right to us at the time. I hope that you do find ways to mark the anniversaries as they occur - it is definitely overwhelming to have so many in such a short space of time. Take each one as it comes? It is so hard and very painful to miss those we love so much.

Take care

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Thankyou for replying :heart:

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