1st Anniversary triggers new anniversaries

In May I reached my 12 month milestone of anniversaries. But it doesn’t end there does it, I’m now facing the 1st anniversaries of the 1st anniversaries. Which now poses the question… how many more 1st anniversaries of anniversaries have we to experience before they stop upsetting us


Dear Jen I will soon be getting to that stage too and its not easy. Thinking of you.

De xx

Thank you De, and you’re absolutely correct, it isn’t easy, dibtvthi k any of what we’re going through is easy is it.

We just have to cope as best we can in these circumstances.


My 1st anniversary was in March, swiftly followed by our wedding anniversary and both of our birthdays. It upended me. Difficulty sleeping again, feeling lost, lethargic, disorganised but, above all, lonely. Went on holiday with a friend at the end of May for a week and it was lovely, really enjoyable, but coming back to my life, the reality of it, made me feel worse again.

I too wonder, in despair, how long can I go on like this? I’m lucky to have close, nearby family and friends, but they don’t cancel out the loneliness.

It’s not that every minute of my life now is spent feeling sad, far from it, but the feelings of anxiety and loneliness are always there, just beneath the surface.

It’s exhausting, I find, but what can we do other than just carry on.

I bought a cheery little wooden plaque that says ‘choose to be happy’ and I do try …

Thank heavens for the people here who understand.

Alison xxx

Afternoon Alison, we’re most definitely riding a rollercoaster, up one minute, down another and generally all over the place. I do have some decent days, not brilliant but better than bad days, still have my share of bad and downright dreadful days too.

I’ve been all over the place since the 1st anniversary of Alan’s passing, the came 6 weeks after the 1st anniversary of our wedding anniversary, and exactly one month after Good Friday which last year, our golden wedding anniversary fell on, also anniversaries of events you wouldn’t normally think twice about but now I do.

Hope you’re day is as good as it can be


Thanks, Jen. Just back from walking the dogs, tiring in this heat, but i’m glad to have their company and it was peaceful and beautiful in the woods.

I’m off with a daughter and family for a week’s holiday tomorrow. Lovely prospect but finding it difficult to focus on getting organised, which is typical these days.

Wishing you all the best. xxx

Thank you, I took mine out early this morning, I don’t have our daughter’s pug Thursday and Saturday, I’ve a pug too, if it’s warm I just let them go in and out the back garden, they have double coats and quickly overheat. We have cool jackets for them of course, but tend to take them out when it’s much cooler. Ada, my 1 year old pug has been my lifesaver,

Enjoy your holiday as much as you are able. I went to New York with our daughter in March just gone. Got quite nervous as the time approached, was fine on the flight but the moment I stepped off the plane I wanted to turn around and get straight back on. Of course I didn’t, we had a really good time, everything was tons better than when we.went 9 years ago.

I’ve no doubt you’ll enjoy the time with your family, it may be bittersweet, but you’ll be glad you went.


Hi Jen.

Just after losing my mum a little over 3 years ago, someone said that the first year is hard for that very reason. But the 2nd year is harder because you THEN realise that they are gone forever. Looking back i cannot yet say if my 3rd year was easier, maybe yes because there is some degree of familiarity with what I’ve been through.

Good luck with your 2nd year and I hope you prove me wrong. Just keep on celebrating and remembering.

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Thank you, blessings