It will be my mums 1st anniversary on 2nd June and I just don’t know what to do on the day? My dad is going into hospital to have a knee replacement the week before and I don’t know what we can do as a family. It’s not like a birthday where you can celebrate their life it’s the day our worlds fell apart.
We had a plaque made for her birthday which we visit and dad wants to go there but I’m worried he’s not going to be able too with his operation… just so hard feel like the grief I felt that day has come rushing back at me like train 
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Hello Vickyb
Anniversaries can feel really hard, especially navigating the first ones when you don’t yet have a way to know how you will feel or what will work best for you and your family. You might find our article on this helpful, at Remembering a loved one: death anniversary | Sue Ryder
I’m sorry to hear your dad might not be able to come due to having knee surgery - is there a way you could take some memories to him, maybe a photo or a favourite item of your mum’s?
I’m sure others in the community will have ideas for you as well. It’s normal to feel like the grief is fresh again on anniversaries and other important occasions, so be gentle with yourself.
Take good care, Rhi (Online Community Team)
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I never celebrated my daughter death, l do celebrate her birthday.
Instead l like just to be alone and think about her xx
Thank-you I will have a look at the link x
I’m thinking that this is what I may end up doing I just really don’t know. Thank-you for your reply sending you a hug x
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I lost my mum last April so have just had the first anniversary, on that day i just felt quiet, deep in my own thoughts, it was the day afterwards it hit me, just do whatever you feel or just dont do anything at all, i think you will know on the day, be kind and gentle to yourself x
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