1st Christmas without my mum

Hi all, I have dipped in and out of this forum for a couple of months but felt like a bit of an imposter as I thought I was doing ok. Now however, with Christmas approaching I Realise I am not doing ok and like I’ve been run over by a truck.
My mum passed away suddenly in August at a good age of 84. We’d talked about the possibility during covid and I thought having those conversations would make it easier when the time came but it has not. I’ve been back to work and got on with life but now I’m a wreck, everything about Christmas reminds me of her, I’ve been in tears in shops, listening to music and just being at home with my own thoughts. Mad thing is she wasn’t even that bothered about Christmas herself!!
This year has been a rollercoaster, I split up from my husband, Moved house, my son has gone to uni and then mum. The sense of loss I feel is something I never imagined possible.
My mum would be kicking me up the backside, telling me to get on with things and to raise a glass or two to her memory. I need to get my head straight so that I can do that!! Any tips would be appreciated.

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Thank you for making me smile a little when you said about how your mum would be talking to you as sounds a lot like my mum who I lost just over 2 weeks ago.
Mine was the sweetest woman but she didn’t tolerate self pity (as she would have called it)…

Really sorry to hear of your year in general as that seems a lot for someone to deal with.

Lots of people here to lean on x

Thank you for replying & I’m sorry for your loss.

I saw on here that it’s a thing to light a candle at 7pm on xmas eve in memory of a loss, I will be doing that, not only for my mum but for everyone’s x


Hi MWO I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear mum I too lost my mum in July this year she had just had her 85 birthday unfortunately in hospital in the may and was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer and other issues she wasn’t given long to live and I gave my job up to look after her at home so she was with all her family and especially dad, she lasted 6 weeks and it’s been the worst experience of my life losing her, I miss her so much :cry: I too had split from my husband a couple of years ago though and the strange thing that happened was the divorce hearing at the court for the decree nisi was read out on the 4th August at 10.am the same day AND time 4th August at 10.am of mum’s funeral (possibly a sign) :thinking: there are no words to say how much I’m been struggling with losing my mum, I’ve had my first birthday without her and so has my dad and that was hard, Christmas is going to be tough I just want it all to be over, I’ll never be the person I was before and I Don’t think I ever will be the emotions you go through can just tear you up it’s definitely a rollercoaster, this forum is lovely to know your not on your own with your grief and lighting the candle on xmas eve will be a comfort for us all, keep messaging on here we are all here for each other take care
Lynn xx

My mum died in 2018 on Christmas eve, It does get better with time.
My mum was 86 and had a good life, my brother gave up his life to care for my mum as I am disabled I could not do it.
My mum insisted on visiting me just a few months before she died and that was the last visit ever, I have a picture of us together on her visit and it means so much to me.
My mum did even know I was at the hospital in December as she had a stroke and refused all medical help, my mum was ready to go it was that simple, she had enough of suffering and old age. At least she is at peace now and that is a blessing. I still talk to her in case she is around and it may sound crazy but each of us cope differently even though we share the grief together we travel our separate was in how we deal with loss.
Merry Christmas to you all and I hope the new year will be better for you.