1st Mothers day without you

Hi all, so yesterday in the uk was Mothers day, a day ive been dreading for so long now, I lost my Mum 22nd Oct and my Grandma 4 weeks later on 17th November. Yesterday my heart trully shattered it gelt like i lost them all over again. I know its still early days as its only 5 and 4 months since I lost them. I feel like i cant really talk about them much as I will either begin to be upset or i feel others around me just want me to move on and dont want to hear about it anymore. All last week and today i wake up and just want to scream and cry. I I guess im just struggling at the min and not really sure how to get through everything just seems like a haze and sometimes everything i do doesn’t seem good enough


So sorry for your losses, so near together, my heart goes out to you.
I too lost my beloved mum on 4th October and my life now feels so empty and joyless. Even after over 5 months the pain is still st the forefront of my mind. I too do most of my crying alone.
My first mother’s day yesterday without mum was sad and I have mum’s birthday next week. :disappointed:
Hope you will find some comfort here, just chatting to others in this awful situation does help.
Reach out whenever you need to.
Sending love and strength.xx


I lost my mum suddenly at the end of December and my first mother’s day without her yesterday, it was a difficult day to get through. I told my son we were cancelling it this year he got up in the morning and just hugged me and said I know your missing nana. I have had anxiety attacks since I lost her but last week it was the worse than usual and more emotional to. I have her birthday coming up on 5th April, it would have been her 75th. :cry:. I miss her so much and wished she was here for me to spoil her. I couldn’t find the dvd that I had intended watching a film she liked, however she loved John Wayne and when I was going through the TV channels one of his films was on a favourite of hers. It made me smile and I said thanks mum my son and I watched it and chatted about what she would be saying watching it.
I don’t know when or if this feeling will ever get easier.
Valda xx


Hi all, this is my first time on any kibd of forum. I lost my mum on 22 January. I didnt anticipate just how hard mothers day was going to be. I was my mothers carer as well as still working full time so every day was jammed packed and busy. Mum had a few medical problems as well as late onset dementia but was still fairly coherent. Our mum was an incredible woman who spent her life caring for and teaching others, she battled against so much prejudice and fought for those without a voice, she was pur rock. I am finding her loss almost unbearable. I cant stop crying and have such an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I try to cover it up and tell prople “I’m fine” but im not. I know its very early days but feel quite alone Nd not able to say exactly how i feel to those close to me.


Dear @Annmarie1

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mum and grandma. I can feel the pain in your post. Grief is a journey to be taken at your pace, it is not a race and for some people it takes years. This is normal. You have lost 2 beautiful people within weeks of each other, that is a lot to cope with mentally and emotionally.

Have you seen these resources by Sue Ryder, they will be of help to you especially the Grief Coach which is free for family and friends.

It might help to have a chat with your doctor to see how they can support you and possibly consider one to one Counselling, Sue Ryder also offer a Counselling Service which might be of interest to you.

We care and understand what you are going through. You are not alone. Take care.

Peppers xx

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Dear all… its been a terribly devasting few days…not sure if it was entirely triggered by the fact it was mothers day, also my first without my lovely Mam, as generally i feel i havent moved forward at all since her death in September. The trauma of her last months and hours and the moment she passed are still with me daily.
Im not sure how i am still putting one foot in front of the other as life feels so empty and pointless without her. I ache for one more hug, a kiss, to tell her i love her, to share a laugh in ways only we could. I dont believe time will change any of this. I also dont know how i can accept it. I have started counselling in hope i can become unstuck and find a way to deal with everything thats happened.

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Mothers Day was awful wasnt it. I bought my mum a card, just to let her know that I missed her. It soothed me a little, a few days before and I assumed Id be better than I was. I also thought Id feel better the day after, but when I was sortibg through her clothes, I ended up sobbibg into her cardigan because I could smell her. Like others; I sonetimes think Im coping better but then I feel Im beibg set back and I was relivibg the past few months, weeks and hours and when she passed.
I cant ever envisage a time when it doesnt cut me up. Trying to predict doesnt work very well either does it!
Mazza x