It was 1yr since mum died on Monday. I do still think of her most days, but usually in a nice way.
This week has been different, lots of flashbacks, crying, unable to sleep etc. I feel like those early early stages, where I was just so tired and everything hurt.
I knew it would be a difficult day, but i didn’t expect it would impact the week.
I was particularly upset that none of my friends remembered. I know we all struggle with dates, so i had sent them it a few weeks before as a reminder, but everyone forgot.
I’m 29, and this year there’s going to be more things I’d like my mum for, my 30th, gyne surgery etc. And I could do with my friends, but since they forgot i just feel very alone now
I’m sorry about your mum I hear you as noone remembered my mum’s first anniversary either, or her second one which was a few weeks ago. Like you around her anniversary I started really struggling with flashbacks and nightmares as well.
I’m 40 this year and have these thoughts too about her not being here for that milestone. It’s really hard. I think it’s okay to tell your friends you’re sad they didn’t remember and how hard the upcoming year might be with your big birthday, surgery etc, and that you need them. Sometimes I think people who haven’t lost someone just don’t get it sometimes and need things spelled out to them.
I might be strange, but I took the view that any anniversaries are personal only to me. It’s ok if others remember them, and I thank them kindly, but I don’t need or ask for their thoughts
These days I celebrate the 50 years my wife and enjoyed together, by doing something special , some things we did together, and others doing something she would have liked.
It’s personal, and not to be shared. So it creates no bad thoughts, the memories are mine and mine alone, and I love keeping them to myself.
I hear you as noone remembered my mum’s first anniversary either, or her second one which was a few weeks ago. Like you around her anniversary I started really struggling with flashbacks and nightmares as well.
