2 months today since my beautiful husband of 24 years aged 54 passed away suddenly where have the weeks gone i know its still early days but im surviving 
i need to go to work soon but im scared incase i cant cope its only part time but when is the right time will it help me focus and do me some good getting out into a routine. Appreciate any advice xx
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2 months is still very early. I’m now about 7 months in and can remember how desolate those early weeks/months were. In a strange way you learn to deal with it, because you have to, but it doesn’t make it any easier. You have to allow yourself time to cry and reflect, even if it makes others feel uncomfortable. I’m floundering a bit at the moment, but I think it’s just a temporary thing because of the change of weather and the season. This site has helped me a great deal because even though we may have friends and family unless they have experienced this they can’t really understand how we feel. You just need to take one day at a time and accept that some will be awful. Sending hugs Gail xx
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Thankyou how are you doing ? Thankyou for your kind words i hate the weather i think it will make things worse and Christmas scares me xx
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Good days, bad days. Not particularly great at the moment as I sprained my ankle on Sunday so not really able to do much to keep myself busy, still it does seem to be getting gradually better. I manged to get through our anniversary on 30th August, it would have been 43 years! Next up is his birthday at the end of November but then of course Christmas. However, Christmas might not be as bad since may daughter and her family are coming on Christmas day, this will be the first time she’s shared Christmas day with me since 2009!! It’s also that this time last year, not long after we got back from holiday he started to get ill and shed lots of weight, I still think I should have been more pushy about sending him to the doctors because when he did go it was clearly too late. Take care xx
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Oh im so sorry we are having to go though this i still keep thinking its all a bad dream im going to my sons for Christmas day but i just know im going to be a mess. Its so lonely isnt it 
i hope your ankle gets better soon for you xx
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5 months till I returned and then was only for an hour and built it up, now part-time all the time.
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I would definitely consider you going back part-time. Believe me, keeping busy is the key, because if you are completely focused on something other than ‘grief’, it really does help. For me, it’s like the mind becomes so occupied with work, it’s only really when you get home it hits you again. Maybe your part-time hours can be adjusted until you settle back in?
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Im thinking of doing 15 hours 5 hour days only 3 days a week just thinking will it help ? 
xx im just sitting here going over things constantly
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If I were you I would give it a try. I am working hard in my mobility then maybe I can volunteer on reception at our local centre. At the moment I wouldn’t be able to physically manage it. I would love work to take my mind off grief for a brief time.
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Hi Cadge 2 months for me too. I had a meeting yesterday about work, I too am in 2 minds. I can be ok one minute and all panicky and unable to do anything the next. I am so unused to this feeling I just usually get on with it. I think the shock and numbness is wearing off and Im just left with the stark reality 
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This is the problem with grief. We get so bogged down and depressed, we feel we can’t do anything. I am basically working all day from home to keep my mind busy, but I go out to work some days and it so much better when I am out from home working. It really does help. When the mind is distracted completely, it’s like my mind is so full of something else, everything disappears with my grief. Just give it a go. Don’t ever think ‘I’m too down I can’t do it’. Just persevere and it could well be for the best (for now!). xx
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Im just going to try and do the 15 hours to start with just feel i need to try it might help me xx
Are you going to give it a try ? How many hours are you thinking i will never do full time im just going to do 15 then hopefully next year 25 xx
I only do 15 hours ! But its spread over 4 days. I think it will probably help me as I spend too much time just going over and over what happened and imagining all sorts of scenarios that might happen in the future, most of them negative. I am really independent and don’t want to rely on anyone else. It’s just so hard not having that one person to talk everything through with. Also I have to work till 7 pm one night. I don’t drive so would have to cycle home in the dark to an empty house. Just seems so daunting, having said all that I work in a library and it really is a lovely job and I miss everyone. Just don’t want to go back too soon and let everyone down 
. Do you live on your own? It’s so hard just getting through each day at a time and being on your own most of the time. I have lots of support but there’s only one person I need at the moment. I should retire next September so haven’t got long but then what !
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That sounds good spreading it over 4 days im just in a office with only 1 person so no socialising much which suits me fine. I have my 25 year old son living me with me he works full time but hes been a massive help to me im so grateful to have him here. I do think it will help us focus on something else maybe going back to work like you say its when we return home im going back 3rd october please let me know how you go on.
Xx
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I can empathise, my partner and soulmate passed away on the 29th July and the pain is so raw. I find some days are better than others, I just feel so lonely and sad, the tears are never far away. We had been together for 35 years and he had just had his 69th Birthday. It was a heart attack and came with no warning.
I think it is very important to move forward but we will all have to do it in our own time, none of us are the same and it’s difficult to recognise when the time is right for the next step
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Keeping busy is definitely the key. I’m retired now but do some volunteering, which is great for me.
@Gt1958 What about a taxi on the one late night you finish! J x
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Sorry for your loss my husband passed away from a cardiac arrest while we were sleeping no signs no warning he was 54 we have all been robbed its heartbreaking xx
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I gave up work in March to spend time with my husband as we were told he had about 18months left as the cancer was not cureable. Sadly he passed 22.07.2023. I need to go back to work at some stage but only want part time, my biggest fear is keeping it together at an interview.
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So sorry for your loss i have been lucky a family member is giving me a office job so no interview needed just hope i can do this !!! X
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